Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Fake Broken Bottle To Keep Your Spot

When a traffic cone or a guy in a labcoat won't do.
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Don't you hate it when you have to go for a short jaunt somewhere, and end up losing your perfect parking spot as a result? Don't you wish there was a way that you could keep your parking spot for five minutes that wouldn't make you seem like an asshole?

Well, now there is. The same beer bottles that are used in fight scenes in the movies can be used as a clever prop to ward people away from your spot. Made of sugar, these gruesome looking shards would offer no danger to your car, but present a powerful psychological barrier to other drivers. Tire preservation instincts are common among all those who own cars, and there are few that would risk a flat by parking there.

The bottles would be pre-broken, to be leisurely thrown under your car as you get inside. This would ensure that no one would catch onto your game, or judge you to be a childish vandal. Upon returning to your prized spot, you need not even worry about clean-up, as the glass is biodegradeable.

It's a win-win situation for all*.

*Actually just you. But a happier you is better for those around you. So it all works out in the end.

rapid transit, May 22 2003

Dummy Car http://www.halfbake...om/idea/Dummy_20Car
You mean like this piece of *genius*, bristolz ? [Jinbish, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

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       How about you just toss out a 'stop strip' into the parking space when you leave? Chances are that the average passerby in search of a space won't feel compelled to get out of the car and remove it in order to get the spot. If he/she does, you've lost the spot fair and square, and lost your 'stop strip' as well.
X2Entendre, May 22 2003
  

       -1 add litter to the streets   

       -2 if you are only going to be gone five minutes, WALK!   

       -3 Presuptive of you to assume you deserve to keep your space in any case.   

       -4 this would make you seem like an asshole, defeating the stated premise of your idea.   

       that adds up to -10, unfortunately for me, I have only one fishbone to give, enjoy.
ato_de, May 22 2003
  

       Well, in your example you'd lose the stop strip. I'd imagine that'd tend to get pricey after a while. You'd also have to take the time to place it down on the ground, aligned with the road, so it wouldn't look too fake. Plus, everyone would see what you were doing. My idea is subtle. Yours is obvious.   

       Make an entry up so I can fishbone it. :)   

       (BTW, what exactly is a stop-strip? It's not terminology that I'm familiar with.)
rapid transit, May 22 2003
  

       Of course it's rude, presumptuous, and litters (until it rains next). That's a given.   

       The point of the idea is that no one except yourself has to know that.
rapid transit, May 22 2003
  

       I'm giving this a bun.
Good for urban areas where zoned parking permits aren't issued, though hipsterville and it's valet parking encroachment plunders space.
thumbwax, May 23 2003
  

       Hah! I think it's excellent. +   I propose an alternative: Make the fake glass of appropriately shaped and colored acrylic and all hooked together with a thin black monofilament netting so that you can reel it back up and stow it when it's not in use.   

       I've often thought about what it would take to design a decoy spot holding collapsible car that looked real enough to escape detection and could fit in your trunk when not deployed. I think it would be very hard to do.
bristolz, May 23 2003
  

       wasn't Dummy Car - just that, bris?
po, May 23 2003
  

       I think its an excellent idea. I usually try to sit next to a "dirty" seat on the bus so that no one sits next to me. Maybe I should carry around some fake vomit to place on the seats next to me :)   

       Good job! I'll order 1000 fake bottles please.
kidmoe, May 23 2003
  

       I once saw a detached fire hydrant lying on the side of the road. I immediately thought of putting it in the trunk and using it for just this.
phundug, May 23 2003
  

       I like this, and living in a city that becomes tourist central every summer, I'd probably use it. (+)
Besides I think that a detached hydrant would be kind of hard to smash.
  

       I have a feeling that devising fake no-parking zones is really old, but I don't know how to search for it.
snarfyguy, May 23 2003
  

       Chindogu (sp) has a roll out yellow tape version to make your own zone.   

       Why not just carry a folding bike in the trunk of your car? You sound like a jerk for making the assumption that you can lay claim to a parking space ... I have always accepted that parking spaces are in a pool of public resources in a way, so you can't "claim" one other than by parking there.
jolshefsky, May 23 2003
  

       Being a jerk and laying claim to the precious public parking resource is precisely the idea.   

       [Jinbish] Yes! Just like that. Well, maybe not inflatable but the same idea. Might be easier with a fake motorcycle.
bristolz, May 23 2003
  

       well, it will have to be a bed of nails then.
po, May 23 2003
  

       Okay. Broken gallon jugs.
bristolz, May 23 2003
  

       Ok, land mines.
Worldgineer, May 23 2003
  

       Okay, mannequins in sleeping bags holding gallon jugs with triple-X labels and set out around a campfire.
bristolz, May 23 2003
  

       Okay, parade horse landmines.
thumbwax, May 23 2003
  

       Okay, rusty 55-gallon drums leaking glowing green liguid.
galukalock, May 23 2003
  

       The use of glass is psycological. A few wouldn't mind, but most would be twarted off.   

       Thwarted.   

       What a wondeful word. I wonder if it's in the dictionary.
rapid transit, May 23 2003
  

       I imagine it is but doubt that "psycological" is.
bristolz, May 23 2003
  

       Hmm. As my ISP was down today, I'm going to blame that on them.
rapid transit, May 23 2003
  

       I think I'd like a fake wolverine better. It would have to be a really good one, though.
waugsqueke, May 23 2003
  

       Fake dead skunk with realistic odor might do it.   

       Too funny, [bristolz]. Touché!
X2Entendre, May 23 2003
  

       Maybe you could use a fake broken glass celophane "decal" to put on the windows of the cars next to your spot.
Zimmy, May 23 2003
  


 

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