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Fake Hand
.o0O "Hmmm... may be a job for a Fake Hand?" O0o. | |
Whenever you want to check whether something is hot, electrified, sharp or just plain dangerous (like keeping a train door open), use a fake hand. Even tickle yourself with it, if that's your thing.
Upper level models are very realistic and suitably expensive. Third world models may be simply carved
from wood.
It can be fitted over your existing hand if you really want to go for a utilitarian function and realistic look or you might simply keep it in your pocket for when you need it.
Drink out of your fake hands
Finger Bowl
[theleopard, Jan 29 2008]
Fake Hand
http://www.prankplace.com/fun_hand.htm
Baked [skinflaps, Jan 29 2008]
How to Make a Fake Hand
http://www.instruct...o-Make-a-Fake-Hand/
[skinflaps, Jan 29 2008]
Fake Hand
http://www.indymogu...pisode/BFX_20070820
video [skinflaps, Jan 29 2008]
A Handsthree
A_20Handsthree
reminds me of this FarmerJohn classic [xaviergisz, Jan 29 2008]
Annotation:
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Thank you, I appreciate the sentiment. I'm in good company, I think |
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How does a fake hand tell if something is hot or electrified? Apart from catching on fire or smouldering. |
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Simply wire it up to your arm... |
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I've seen an official OSHA hand that was designed to check the safety of fan guards. It had one long, skinny finger in the middle. |
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Coat the outside with thermal/color changing plastic, add a few wires hooked up to LEDs to sense electricity. Maybe slap a dosimeter on the back for paranoias sake. |
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Follow the instructions, but add in a basic skeletal structure with joints with puppet string connections to your real hand. Use strings instead of cables, so that they break instead of them braking your fingers. |
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..and I suppose for the sharpness or just plain dangerous test, would be to simply count the fingers after testing. |
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"Can I stroke the crocodile?" |
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I wonder if the porn industry could find applications for this... |
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gag rubber hands are quite baked...
Has someone been borrowing your account lately? |
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None of the fake hands you can find are like this ne. This fake hand is fitted with state of the art sensors, to give all manner of feedback as to temperature, voltage, sharpness and other aspects that one might be desirous of determining. |
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Of course the porn industry could, [hppo]. See the category. |
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Yeah, you say that here, however you don't say that there. Own up UB, you just want a fake hand to play with, yes? |
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I love the idea of the very first tentative steps into building Androids, rather than being clumsy, metal C3P0-manoids, might instead be finely crafted, sensuous body parts that we can poke things with in order to save our own finely crafted sensuous body parts from unpleasant sensations. It's quite a poetic notion. |
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Imagine leaving work in the morning, "Where is my hand?" you wonder, tapping about your various pockets. Ah there it is, right where you left it, by the phone. Stepping outside, you wave the hand around in the air and watch it whiten and start to shiver, splashes of rain beat down on it - hmmm, nasty weather out - you say to yourself and make your way to the bus stop. |
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On the bus, you test the seat with the back of your fake hand, to see if anyone has weed on it, and satisfied, you use it again to wipe the condensation from the window, and look out into the gloom. |
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At work, you arrive a few minutes late, and approaching the lifts, see an almost empty one whos doors are just about to close. You wedge your fake hand in the gap (and watch as it spasms a little as it's crushed momentarily by the doors) and the doors open and allow you access. |
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Harbouring an irrational fear of infection, you use the index finger of the hand to choose your floor. |
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At work, unsure whether your tea is at just the right temperature, you dip your hand's pinky finger in there, and seeing it twitch violently conclude that it might be a bit hot for now. |
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And so on. Poor old hand. At the end of the day, you pop the tired, beated, burnt, withered, greasy, abused hand into its little overnight storage pod where it is gently massaged, cleansed and moisturised all night long, ready for action the following day. [+] |
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This is good for testing whether dogs are friendly. |
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A fake meat hand could be thrown at people - useful for when you need to pretend to be a zombie. |
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You're on my wavelength, [zen_tom]. You might like to use that fake hand to give you a comforting pat on the back, m'good man. |
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Of course, [skinflaps]. Technology is usually adapted to provide some means of sexual gratification very early in its life cycle. It's the way we are. |
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Nice one [zen_tom],thought so [UB] I wonder if you'd be able to give these sophisticated fake hands personalities? Imagine if you picked up someone else's by mistake. |
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"Hey, babe, would you mind swapping fakes with me for the night? I've been wanting to ask you out on a date every time I see you on the bus in the mornings. I have been a little scared to tell you I like the way you look and I thought we could have a bit of no-strings fun?" |
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<sound of resounding, fake slap precedes Roland alighting from the bus> |
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Never again be forced to listen to that dreadful noise of one hand clapping, Just whip out your spare and give it a slap! |
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That's the spirit, [blissy]! |
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And as fake hands become more intelligent, they start demanding their own fake hands... |
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//may be a job for a Fake Hand?//
You mean a fake hand-job? |
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If that's what floats yer boat, [Ling]. |
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No, a fake-hand job might float my boat, but a fake hand-job would be quite disappointing. |
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Useful for surgeons who run latefor lifts. This way they don't get their precious hands caught in the doors. |
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This product would soon appear in hundreds of ebay listings, in convincing packaging with slightly dodgy typography, at a tenth of the price of the original product, sent to you direct from China or Hong Kong. When you get it, the quality would be lacking and inevitably disappointing. |
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Dammit! This Hong Kong knock-off fake hand has only got three fingers! |
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... and of course the lesser-known products: the fake-foot for jamming into annoying cyclists spokes; the fake head, for attending those boring video-conferences; fake shoulders so you can watch the match while the gf whines about whatever she's on about this week; fake buttocks for mooning in inclement weather and for when the boss is in a foul mood. |
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[FlyingToaster] You think cyclists should suffer a nasty death because you find them 'annoying'? |
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[hippo] the ones that shoot past you or expect you to move out of their way on walkways. |
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Ooh, that must be annoying. And your solution is to have these cyclists summarily executed? |
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I'm just wondering how a cyclist overtakes a flying toaster, and what the toaster is doing on a footpath. |
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"Control to toaster: you are clear for takeoff."
"Roger that."
"Oops! No, wait! There's a cyclist on the tarmac! Abort takeoff! Taxi into the long grass! Mind the dogshit!" |
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Mm-Mmm, toasted dogshit! I'll just get my Fake Hand, to get it out of the toaster, I think. |
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//I'm just wondering how a cyclist overtakes a flying toaster//
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Flying's hard enough work without getting beaned by some idiot with no sense of ballistics. I've seen cyclists *on purpose* trying to get people to duck and swerve out of their way. |
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I've also tried to anticipate which way the usual gaggle of early morning, female "power walkers" will move when I approach them, as they blithely spread out across my local cycle paths, inanely chatting about their babies' bowel movements. |
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I do wish they'd use the damned pedestrian walkways! I don't want to run over a bunch of indignant, Lycra-clad, peroxided gym junkies at 5:30 am. |
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[UB] perhaps pre-recorded stale pickup lines instead of a bell or horn ? (no pedestrian lane?) |
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Different pathways. A cyclist ran into and killed a pedestrian on a city bikepath a few years ago. They made moves to separate them. |
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In fact, a guy I worked with had a head-on, on the same bikepath, with another bike. He was 5 weeks in hospital; the other guy eight months with a broken neck and multiple skull fractures. |
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Just having bikepaths, or even sidewalks, would be a nice improvement around here. |
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//A cyclist ran into and killed a pedestrian
on a city bikepath a few years ago. They
made moves to separate them. // Christ
- must been one hell of a collision. |
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