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Fake Ivory and Tusk / Horn Plus Live Removal

To shut down the ivory / rhino horn trade.
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Primitive superstitious cultures still do stupid stuff like buy rhino horns to make their little wieners bigger or enjoy trinkets carved out of endangered species parts.

I suggest tranquilizing these animals and cutting their valuable horns and tusks off before the poachers can get to them. I know they use these for survival but they're pretty useless against their main threat which is poachers. In fact, it's the reason they're endangered.

Secondly, on the supply side, set our best scientists, or at least Max, to making a fake horn / tusk grown in a lab or otherwise synthesized so as to be indistinguishable from the real thing.

Flood the market with millions of tons of this faux ivory / horn stuff such that the price is driven down to nothing and never let it rise again.

doctorremulac3, Mar 27 2017

3D Fake rhino horn http://www.snopes.c...ino-horn-developed/
[AusCan531, Mar 27 2017]

SADM https://en.wikipedi...Demolition_Munition
Small enough to fit in fake rhino [8th of 7, Mar 28 2017]

[link]






       " Psst ... Interested in some authentic faux rhino horn? "   

       " I heard the synthetic stuff is more powerful than the organic ... "
normzone, Mar 27 2017
  

       I previously suggested "synthetic" horn labeled as such with a warning that it's more potent and may result in mammoth wiener syndrome.
doctorremulac3, Mar 27 2017
  

       Baked [Link]. Conservation groups aren't in favour, apparently. Personally I think it's a technique well worth exploring.
AusCan531, Mar 27 2017
  

       The "tranq and cut" is WKTE.
neutrinos_shadow, Mar 27 2017
  

       What's needed, shirley, is fake bullets?
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 27 2017
  

       Baked. Also, preemptively dehorning the rhinos doesn't save the rhinos because the poachers kill them anyway to avoid having to waste effort tracking them for no reward in the future.
notexactly, Mar 27 2017
  

       //...preemptively dehorning the rhinos doesn't save the rhinos because the poachers kill them anyway to avoid having to waste effort tracking them for no reward in the future.//   

       What we need here is an honest signal.
In addition to replacing the horn with a bright red plastic horn, the rhino rangers should attach rhino-shoes - each with a stencil on the base. The footprints of docked animals would then make it clear that tracking them for the horn is a waste of time.
Loris, Mar 28 2017
  

       There's never a paraceratherium about when you need one.
nineteenthly, Mar 28 2017
  

       Just curious, has anybody in China or another country where they believe in this nonsense ever tried a public education program? "Rhino horn doesn't make your junk bigger, it just kills rhinos."
doctorremulac3, Mar 28 2017
  

       //Just curious, has anybody in China or another country where they believe in this nonsense ever tried a public education program?//   

       a) I don't think they care. Education is hard at the best of times. And there's a lot of them to educate.
b) Do we know for a fact that it doesn't work?
  

       If it's really just keratin, then making fake rhino horn could be as easy as clipping some fingernails, or perhaps compressing some blond hair. We probably don't have to be too stringent about an exact chemical match if we're selling onto the black market.   

       It might be easier just to sell them subsidised viagra.
Loris, Mar 28 2017
  

       Perhaps a bit of Viagra in the fake rhino horn would make it more effective than the real thing, and help to put the poachers out of business.
Wrongfellow, Mar 28 2017
  

       I think the same approach to the panda is what as needed. No self-respecting Chinese would dare harm a panda. It is their national pride and joy. We need to promote cute cuddly rhinos and elephants as the pride an joy of Africa.
RayfordSteele, Mar 28 2017
  

       Maybe rhinos as diplomatic gifts to mainland China from nations where they're native?
nineteenthly, Mar 28 2017
  

       Another indictment of anything "ancient Chinese" or "herbal".   

       The witchcraft of our time.
doctorremulac3, Mar 28 2017
  

       I was hoping the 'Plus Live Removal' was an explosive device that took out the poacher.   

       A trojan rhino is what we need. Filled with ninjas dressed in African savannah khaki.
RayfordSteele, Mar 28 2017
  

       ... or a modestly-sized gadget - nothing fancy, maybe a kiloton.   

       <link>
8th of 7, Mar 28 2017
  

       Re: <link>   

       So we actually trained guys who presumably volunteered to:   

       1- Be parachuted behind enemy lines with a back pack that has a... 2- Nuclear bomb in it. 3- Set its detonation timer and then... 4- Swim out into the ocean to hopefully be picked up by a submarine that would find them somehow before... 5- The very pissed off enemy sent out boats to find the guys who just nuked them.   

       Balls of steel.
doctorremulac3, Mar 28 2017
  

       // we actually trained guys //   

       Yes.   

       It's hard to nail down the worst bit of the woolly thinking behind the concept, which falls into the same "Errr, WHAT ?" category as the Soviet WWII Dog Mine, the British Navy's Exploding Magnetic Fish, and the US Pigeon Bomb.   

       Does the fault lie with the undoubtedly brave but somewhat ill-advised volunteers, or the strategists and senior commanders who view backpack nukes as a realistic proposition for actual field deployment ? Answers on a postcard, please ...   

       There is, from some points of view, a horrible problem with the technology. These devices are tiny. Not only that, they're very easy to make, because they're simple (not crude - far from it) and almost all of the components can just be stored in crates (probably stencilled "TRACTOR PARTS" in big black letters), quite safely and without deterioration, for decades. All that's needed is to install the fissile core, which doesn't require very much material.   

       If you have the raw material to make cores, and the machinery to do it, they can be turned out alarmingly quickly, ready for immediate use.   

       It's all very well to dismantle the big strategic weapons systems, but many little devices can still do an awful lot of damage.
8th of 7, Mar 28 2017
  

       incidentally:   

       ::Contrary to popular belief, the market for rhino horn is not largely driven by Chinese. Rather, Vietnamese are currently the biggest consumers of rhino horn and Vietnamese demand drives most of the poaching which has shot up to record levels::
-- wikipedia rhinocerous article
  

       And is 8th feeling sorry for animals in warfare?   

       //...It's hard to nail down the worst bit of the woolly thinking behind the concept, which falls into the same "Errr, WHAT ?" category as the Soviet WWII Dog Mine, the British Navy's Exploding Magnetic Fish, and the US Pigeon Bomb.//   

       New naming scheme for atomic weapons:   

       <100ton yield : barrel of monkeys
100-1 kiloton yield : cat out of bag
1-10 kiloton yield : cows come home
10-100 kiloton yield : headless chicken
100 - 1000 kiloton yield : dog eat dog
1 - 10 megaton yield : gift horse
>10 megton yield : can of worms
Loris, Mar 29 2017
  

       That deserves its own idea posting Loris.
doctorremulac3, Mar 29 2017
  
      
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