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Fake Police
Scare people into thinking you're calling the police | |
It would be great to be able to threaten someone with "...or I'll call the police" and then really call the police! But without really bothering the police.
Let me explain. You dial the fake police number and the operators there ask realistic questions which prompt you to answer in a way that sounds
(to the offender) like you are really talking to police officers. For example, they prompt you to describe the individual and then you say out loud "He's about 6 feet tall, straight blond hair, he's wearing a green sweatshirt and patched jeans." They will ask you more details to ensure that your side of the conversation is as worrisome as possible. Finally they instruct you to say something like "10 minutes? Thank you very much."
This is a lot more convincing than pretending to be on the phone when you haven't actually dialed, and trying to simulate one side of a conversation. No one would ever buy that act.
With any luck, the offender will get scared and leave before the alleged police officers arrive. After all, they can't be sure whether you've called the real police or the fake ones.
...Okay, most local residents will get savvy to this trick after a while, but it will still work on tourists who choose to make trouble and who don't know about the fake police system in your country.
[link]
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Why not call the actual police? (bun/bone reserved) |
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Why not just call your voicemail, then pretend you're talking to the police? Seriously, I've never been scared off by people threatening to call the cops, and I was a door-to-door salesman. If I've done something illegal, then they should call the real police. If I know I haven't done anything illegal, this won't have any effect on me. |
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My daughter and I do *fake Santa Claus*...in a similar fashion. |
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I have on occasion called the "naughty police" on my son. |
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Well, the *real* number is 912 anyway... |
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At the point that you get your phone out of your pocket to call the fake police, the offender nicks that from you as well, headbutts you and does a runner while you stagger bloody nosed looking for a callbox to call the real police. |
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How about an "I'm telling me dad on you." service? They'll dispatch a gargantuan tiger-wrestling type bloke to your destination within 5 minutes, ready equipped with your picture so he can ask you: |
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"Right son*, which one's askin fer a good kickin' then?" |
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And then, of course, there's the fake mafia that supplies fake hit men.
The government already has a fake home security service that supplies various color for fake terrorist threats, available at election time. |
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I had a good friend who was out of his mind on 5X the prescribed doseage of his antidepressants call the police and tell them I was an unidentified prowler with a gun when I went to his house to check on him. |
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Full diplomatic skills got me out of that one, but it caused me no end of worry for a couple of months. |
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So I'm naturally a little touchy on the subject of false police reports in any fashion (-). |
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I didn't use the naughty police, I threatened my kids with the real police, I would pick up the phone and dial our number real fast, and start talking. They didn't buy it one bit. |
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