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Fire Hydrant Camouflager

It's not illegal to park next to a trash barrel
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Open up a whole new world of primo parking spots! A simple upside-down trash barrel would suffice, but they may not fit in many car trunks (or "boots" if you drive on the wrong side). So, a solution that folds would be more convenient, preferably something that would blend with the surrounding cityscape. An ersatz newspaper machine perhaps, or a faux mailbox (not the kind you put mail in, but the storage ones letter carriers use) would be more indiscreet.

It's only illegal if you get caught,and, by tenuous extension, only immoral if there is a fire, but what's the probability of that happening?

latka, May 23 2003

Don't be surprised if this happens to you http://www.attritio...celess-bmw.jpg.html
[krelnik, Oct 17 2004]


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       //only immoral if there is a fire// That's like saying it's only immoral to shoot at people if you hit one.
Worldgineer, May 23 2003
  

       I imagine that if you were caught (by, say, a fire engine trying to put out a real fire), you would be lynched even before you got to the police station. If I was around, I'd bring the rope.
DrCurry, May 23 2003
  

       [DrCurry] // If I was around, I'd bring the rope //
That's the beauty of it (beauty being in the eye of the idiot), nobody would know you parked next the fire hydrant, as it would be covered by your phony newspaper machine. Simply drive away (leaving the camaflouger there). You'd be out the few bucks you paid for the product, but it's better than getting lynched.

[Worldgineer] // That's like saying it's only immoral to shoot at people if you hit one. //

Good point, wasting bullets is definitely immoral.
latka, May 23 2003
  

       When I was a kid I helped to build a snowman over a fire hydrant. Got in trouble, too.
bristolz, May 23 2003
  

       [latka] Be assured, if I ever see you or anyone else do this I will immediately remove it and notify the police of your behavior. Do you want to take the risk that I'm the only one of this opinion?
Worldgineer, May 23 2003
  

       //nobody would know you parked next the fire hydrant, as it would be covered by your phony newspaper machine.//   

       When the fire fighters show up, your hydrant camouflager is not going to fool them.   

       //It's only illegal if you get caught,//   

       No - it's only illegal if there's a law against it. And there is.   

       Anyway, this is a variation on an old theme. Didn't we just do this yesterday?
snarfyguy, May 23 2003
  

       bris, you missed the punchline of that story <g>
po, May 23 2003
  

       I think of it more as gambling (or insurance, if you prefer a euphimism): I am betting that whilst I am away from my car, a fire will not break out in the general vicinity, and people are apathetic enough not to notice (or care) about my exploits. If I win, I get a good spot. If I lose, I either get towed or my car gets a hosed smashed through it.
latka, May 23 2003
  

       Or people die.
Worldgineer, May 23 2003
  

       latka: you seem to assume that fire hydrants are randomly occuring items, and noone keeps track of where they are. Just where the heck do you live? And if you lose, you go to jail for a very long time (the more so if anyone is killed by your reckless endangerment).
DrCurry, May 23 2003
  

       In many areas of the US, you don't even have to 'keep track' to know where a hydrant is. Among the obvious tip-offs:   

       * No parking / Tow Away Zone signs nearby
* Yellow or red curb
* A differently colored reflector (usually blue) on the centerline of the road out in front of the hydrant. (This is for fire truck drivers to spot at night so they know where to stop the truck to hook up).
krelnik, May 23 2003
  

       This exact idea appeared in MAD magazine along with some others for securing parking spaces.
supercat, May 23 2003
  

       What do you propose to do about the section of red painted curbing which indicates a no-parking zone anyway?

Sorry, I have to bone this one...
X2Entendre, May 23 2003
  

       notice the blue reflector in the street offset in the direction of the fire hydrant? the firemen do.
johnmeacham, May 24 2003
  

       I see none of you live in a city were parking spots are a rare commodity. When you have to rent a spot for US$200/month, you'll all be knocking on my door then...   

       Tons of parking nazis in these parts, makes me glad I don't drive.
latka, May 24 2003
  

       You don't drive. You do post stoopid ideas. Do you burn by any stretch of the imagionation.
The Kat, May 24 2003
  

       [The_Kat] // You do post stoopid ideas. //
Thanks for noticing. Stoopid [sic] ideas are what attract me to this place. Personally, I had set a target of about 20 fishbones for this one (in addition to stoopid [sic], this is also dangerous, invokes the ire of the local citizens, and really pisses of our modern day hero, the firefighter).
And yes, I do burn. Approximately 2200 kcalories per day.
latka, May 24 2003
  

       It would be a lot easier to place fake fire hydrants all around the city. No one would park at them. (Well, in New York City, this wouldn't work, cause people would park at them anyway). Then, when in search of a spot, you could park in one of the spots you've "reserved".
phundug, Aug 25 2003
  


 

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