Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Flippin’, Flappin’, Tidy, Floor Tiles

Dear Diary:
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Saturday, May 17 – I haven’t written for a few days. I’ve been busy, such as a lot of picking up after the kids. They leave clothes, toys, comic books, etc. on the floor, all over the house. Well, those clean-up days are over now! I bought and installed those flailing, floor tiles (waving flagstone and wall-to-wall carpepult) that I mentioned a month ago.

They’re even better than I thought. The fluttering tidy tiles are thin and easy to lay and plug in. They accurately sense weight, and anything weighing less than a cat gets flipped and flapped until it eventually ends up on a bed, chair, dresser, etc. Of course, Kitty is busy learning to keep all of her paws on one tile at a time.

Each tile is designed so that it randomly engages hinges on different edges, so that when the electric motor makes it fly up at a 45 degree angle, any debris is flung in haphazard directions. And unlike other popular brands, these tiles have the patented Accordion Seal to keep flipped rubbish from falling under a tile.

When the kids want to play on the floor, I can turn off the system in that room. That’s what I forgot to do yesterday when my lover surprised me with a visit. A trail of clothes illustrated our hasty path to the bed. Then our lovemaking turned to laughter as pants, socks and underwear fluttered and flew around and upon us.

FarmerJohn, Jun 20 2003

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       How do you come up with these ideas?
sufc, Jun 20 2003
  

       Most pop into my noggin at the oddest moments.
FarmerJohn, Jun 20 2003
  

       Like when your lovemaking turns to laughter, but you're the only one laughin'. Do you get slapped?
thumbwax, Jun 20 2003
  

       [thumb] Depends on the butt of the joke.
FarmerJohn, Jun 20 2003
  

       Do you also have Velcro walls in your house?
PeterSilly, Jun 20 2003
  

       There you go.
FarmerJohn, Jun 20 2003
  

       So I bought all this mortar and grout for nothing?
That's it, I can't work under these conditions.
  

       Or, they could all flip up in successive waves, like the legs of a centipede, in order to pass things to their proper destination.
RayfordSteele, Jun 20 2003
  
      
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