Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Flocking barstools

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These are barstools which, in exactly the same way as Flocking Road Cones (q.v.) will move around according to a complex pre-defined series of rules. Cheap bar-owners might be tempted to simply buy a few Flocking Road Cones and put seats on the top, but without some clever reprogramming, this risks having reliable, loyal customers being whisked out off the door at high speed to join a few cones on the nearest big road.

These stools will derive as much information as they can about your personality, your likes and dislikes, etc. through sensors in the fabric (*) seat of the barstool and then 'flock' according to who they think you'd like to meet, or steer you into a quiet corner if they think you'd like to be left alone.

(*) - Note: not flock

hippo, Aug 06 2006

Flocking Road Cones Flocking_20Road_20Cones
[hippo, Aug 06 2006]

Shoaling Diner Shoaling_20Diner
Shameless self-promotion - but hey, I bunned ya. [moomintroll, Aug 06 2006]

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       I'd be careful not to make any gurgling stomach noises, you might just find yourself being steered to the nearest toilet.
skinflaps, Oct 15 2007
  

       I can see this being helpful for shy people. [+]
pertinax, Oct 15 2007
  

       If it moves suddenly, one is very likely going to fall off the flocking barstool.
theNakedApiarist, Oct 15 2007
  

       I presume that empty-glass-holder -> bar is one of the functions?
vincevincevince, Oct 15 2007
  

       [m-f-d] magic. It is seldom that even I know what my intentions for the evening are.   

       Having said that, there is an ignoble award granted to a beer readiness placemat. A placemat that wirelessly transmits the status of your beer glass to the bar. This is not a much farther cry. will go off to investigate these "flocking road cones" to see if they suffer a similar magical delusion.
4whom, Oct 15 2007
  
      
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