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(Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)
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- Sole Brothers, how may we help you?
- I need help with my forehortened ilhouette ole.
- Your forehortened ilhouette ole?
- My forehortened ilhouette ole. Orry, I cant ay the letter .
- Oh, your Foreshortened Silhouette Sole. Have you read the instructions?
- But, I cant
read Finnih, Japanee or Erbo-Croatian.
- Uh huh, well, whats the problem?
- I undertand the theory that the ilhouette ole the ize of one foot tuck to a hoe at leg length een a foot away jut obcure a perfect body but doent cover an overweight or out-of-hape body howing thoe lump and bump that need reduction.
- It doent work. The ole ilhouette doent cover my forehortened toro at all.
- Is the sole the right size?
- Ye, 10 œ D.
- Is it the right gender?
- Ure, it mucular male.
- And your body check was done a foot away by a buddy?
- Uh, no, caue of my athlete foot. I looked in a mirror, intead.
- There you go. That wont work. Youve got to find a pal with a cold or use a camera. Good Luck!
- Thank, bye.
||"I uzed to have the zame problem, until I met zome people who zuggezted I zimply replace my ezzez with zedz!"
||Yez, exactly! Well, almozt - actually, I alzo have a zecondary affliction that cauzez me to occazionally zubztitute entire zyllablez with other zyllablez, my actual name iz bag_jam.
||[Pa`ve] The silhouette sole the size of ones foot stuck to a shoe at legs length seen a foot away just obscures a perfect [foreshortened] body but doesnt cover an overweight or out-of-shape [foreshortened] body showing those lumps and bumps that need reduction.
||Ummm.... FJ, you've lost me completely?
||Me: Thith ith jutht and eckcuth to act like Igor, thur. I think that I am abtholutely correct on thith pothithion.
||FJ: That ith right thur! We R Igorth, jutht like it thayth on the card, thur!