Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Foul Language SMS Lexicon

Because if you swear like a sailor with Tourette's syndrome, so should your phone.
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I like the convenience of text messages. I also appreciate some of the input refinements such as T9, etc. I find that for the most part, auto-complete works pretty well. The problem arises when I have to teach my phone to auto-complete words that I use constantly, such as shithead, cocksucker, cuntface, etc.

I propose a lexical addendum file that would be available for download (like a ringtone), in order to suppliment the standard auto-complete system. It would include the richness and depth of the human vocabulary, especially variants on words. Savvy SMS users know that there is a difference between fuck an fawk, bitch and beyotch. The lexicon would be maintained and updated regularly to reflect the mores and culture of the day. An automated system could anonymously query cellphones and see which new words it learned each month. The most popular words would be added. Hip-hop, leet-speak, legalese could also be included to round out the package. Bottom line, if I'm dropping a chunk of change for a phone, I want it to know the words that I do. For that matter, I don't mind spending a little extra so that spelling

"This DMV clerk is a real cuntface whore. I bet she lets her manager dry fuck her shit chute on his lunch break."

doesn't take so goddamn long.

Shit.

tourist, May 08 2006

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       crap
skinflaps, May 08 2006
  

       Put one together, I'm sure you could sell it (or at least get a whole bunch of hits on your download page).   

       However, it is as reckless to put swear words and insults into text messages as it is to put them into email or voicemails. It will only come back to hurt you in the end.
DrCurry, May 08 2006
  

       It does sound a bit like a let's all - text like we're poop-mouthed poop-mouths.   

       And what is a DMV clerk? And what it is about this one that makes you think she might indulge in unlubricated anal sex with her immediate line-manager? Presumably, his lunch-break and hers coincide. It would be tricky dealing with a customer under those conditions. Perhaps that's why you're texting your friend about it. You could try going to another counter if it makes you uncomfortable. And why would she want to engage in that kind of behaviour anyway? Is it because of her side occupation as a professional companion? Finally, regarding her face, perhaps she's been involved in some kind of horrific industrial accident?
zen_tom, May 08 2006
  

       somehow swearing 'vocally' isn't quite the same as writing it out....
xandram, May 08 2006
  

       I don't see why this couldn't be provided as an option. Maybe a mobile service provider could offer dictionary download packs.   

       I see trouble in that many swearwords are socially and regionally based as well as having a short shelf-life.   

       I do think there's the kernel an interesting idea, here, though. Not for swearing, but for specific vocabulary:   

       Fan of the New York Yankees? Download a pack containing all current team players, manager, famous past players and all the team names in Major League Baseball (and a glossary of baseball terms).   

       Fan of Michael Schumacher? Download the F1 pack with all current drivers, team names, team bosses, tracks and famous drivers of the past, along with a glossary of commonly used words.   

       [+] For the other possibilities the idea would bring.
st3f, May 08 2006
  

       [+] //swear like a sailor with Tourette's syndrome//
Guilty-as-charged.
Letsbuildafort, May 08 2006
  
      
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