h a l f b a k e r y
Why on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?
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Do you ever wonder whether or not the
rollie that you're making is supporting
battery farmed rolling papers? Have you
ever taken the time to check out this
horrible method of rizla production?
Fear not! With a simple loan to
me of anywhere between £1,000,000 and
can help to solve this
Your money shall be
going towards the construction of huge
plastic domes with enormous fans on the
floor beneath safety grilles to prevent
nasty accidents involving people and fast
These plastic domes
shall be home to many thousands of
rolling papers, floating and fluttering
the artificial currents created by the fans.
Obviously there shall be separate domes
for different breeds of rolling
different domes shall be the 'farm' as it
Upon arrival at the farm,
you shall pay a small fee for the loaning
a special suit with fabric stretched
between the legs and arms to increase
surface area, and a small winch with a
large amount of safety wire attached to a
carabina. You shall also be issued a
hoover like device with a see through
You will then be lead to
entrance area to the dome of your
where your safety line will be clipped
somewhere sensible and you will then
out and into the air, to be carried
the rizlas where you shall ensnare them
with your hoover.
When you deem
receptacle full enough, you can follow
your safety line back to the ground and
hand over your suit and hoover. Your
rolling papers will then be ironed, folded
and packaged, and you will be charged
according to amount caught or
* Money is liable to
never be returned and may well be used
to 'live it up' as opposed to the
smoking allowed on site.
||Anybody got a suggestion for a better
||product: cigarette paper?
Not that I'm anybody.
||Ah ha, I didn't think of looking for
something like that. Consider it moved.
||My wife purchased "free range chicken broth"...
||...I don't know if that is as funny to other people as it was to me, but I almost peed my pants.
||In keeping with how inane people can be, I award a bunnie.
||We're talking pine beetle infested country-sides everywhere.