h a l f b a k e r yBunned. James Bunned.
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With a little gene-splicing (say, the same gene spliced from salmon to tomatoes to prevent them spoiling in the refrigerator) we should be able to develop a maggot able to survive comfortably in the harsh climate of the family refrigerator.
Why is this necessary? If maggots can be used to clean
up infected wounds and they only feed on decaying organic material they should find a bonanza of suitably rotting foodstuffs in the average fridge.
Most people are seemingly averse to removing the furry blue/brown sludge, formerly a banana, in the crisper drawer. With a colony of these little tykes your worries are over.
Iceworms!
http://www.execpc.c...shman/iceworms.html
Iceworms! [Dog Ed, Aug 21 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]
The Spark's Stinky Meat Project
http://www.thespark...science/stinkymeat/
One of the best visual references on meat decay on the internet. [pottedstu, Apr 23 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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Bake it up and get it over here, quickly! |
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I thought of this today when I looked in the fridge in the office where I work. There are things in that fridge which would be better under a sheet of glass in a museum of unnatural history.| — | UnaBubba,
Aug 21 2001, last modified Aug 22 2001 |
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Your workplace too? You might get closer to home by investigating iceworms--I think they're nematodes, or maybe annelids--that live in snow and eat algae, or maybe dead insects...Oh heck, I'll go have a google. BRB. |
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OK. Sheesh, I learned there's a song called "When The Iceworms Nest Again" and some sort of fantasy game involving genetically-engineered iceworms, and a polychaete 'iceworm' that inhabits oil seeps in the Carribean. But the iceworms I am recommending to you as a source for genetic material are pin-sized annelids which graze on algae, live on glaciers, and can only tolerate temperatures from about 0 to 4 degrees C. See link (rotten combination of text color and background graphic on the page). |
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Highest marks for the mad beauty of the concept. |
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You would need network of pathways so the maggots could tansfer themselves from between the different parts of the fridge. Getting to the fridge door would be quite a challenge, one that possibly might require acrobatic maggots or very small hang gliders. |
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Isn't there another song, Dog Ed? |
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Iceworm, iceworm,
Measuring the margarine, |
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Woldn't you need to keep a permanent supply of rotting vegetables in the fridge to make sre that the maggots wouldn't starve... |
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...oh hang on - that's not a problem. |
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Ice resistant worms would be a good idea not only because they eat the scraps, but worm poo is supposedly a very good form of compost. Additionally, worms will eat almost anything given time. |
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That's the point Mephista. These guys have been modified to be cold-resistant. That's the point of the genetic tampering... to render them capable of operating at temperatures from around 0-20 deg C. |
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are you absolutely sure that they only eat rotting food? - are you absolutely sure that they wont eat my fresh pizza or tonights slice of sirloin or even that little cooked sausage i couldn't manage last night? |
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i think we might be better off with a fridge maggot magnet on the outside of the fridge |
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Stick your head in the fridge. They'll let you know whether TV has rotted your brain. |
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Can they discriminate between that and decay caused by other media, such as video games or controversial literature? |
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Excuse me... I'm wondering if the cure isn't just as bad as the disease; who on Earth wants to open up a fridge to be treated to the sight of a pulsing, writhing mass of maggots feasting on a decaying banana? Can you imagine having guests round and telling them to grab a beer from the fridge, oh never mind the maggots??? |
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Surely they'd be more offended at your terrible etiquette, getting your guests to help themselves to refreshments. |
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No wonder the crime rate's so high. |
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what happens when the baby maggots grow up and turn into flies? Am i being a f00? Anyway, thats gross. Actually, ive just remembered that maggots can only turn into little fly thingers at a certain temperature. Thats why you can keep them in the fridge for fishing. But youd have to make sure that no one pulled the plg on the fridge or youd end up with loads of flies in there, regurgitating all the off food on the good food, and you'd be right back where you started. |
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A somewhat torpid fly staggered out of my fridge today. I hope he wasn't hatched inside. |
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