h a l f b a k e r yContrary to popular belief
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I just picked up a new car with audio parking sensors that bleep at you. The closer to the object, the closer together the bleeps are.
Trouble is, the sensors are all round the car and it's rather difficult to tell if it's a side sensor or a rear sensor that's causing the problem.
These verbal
parking sensors say "Front", "Left", "Right" and "Rear" with increasing frequency as you approach objects, so you can easily differentiate and steer accordingly.
cane toad
http://www.amonline...sheets/canetoad.htm
/bliss/ [nth, Feb 05 2006]
IMDB: Cane Toads (1988)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0130529/
blissmiss! Over here! [jutta, Feb 05 2006]
[link]
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Oh! Yes! I've been in one of those beepy cars. It really is terribly disorienting when navigating multi-boundary environments like parking garages. So, good idea. Any sort of different signals would be - it doesn't have to be language. |
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The sounds of different instruments
should be synthesised for the different
sensors:
Front:
Trumpet
Left: Clarinet
Right:
Xylophone
Back: London Symphony
Orchestra |
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Use the car's speakers (which are nicely set up for surround-sound, a fact mostly ignored by car stereo manufacturers) to indicate exactly where the object is sensed. |
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Like parking a submarine. + |
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Excellent suggestion [World]! |
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People would wonder where the chicken was while you were reversing.
Back, back back back. Back, ba-back back... |
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It would be great if those things could be tagged to scream bloody murder when you actually hit something. |
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"Don, don't look back, but we're being chased by an orchestra." |
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[World]. I think the problem with using the
surround sound is that, as the driver
doesn't sit in the middle of the car but
rather to one side and at the front, the
*precise* position of the beep might be
hard to ascertain. |
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When did you last park a submarine [Shz]? |
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Great, just what I need - another voice telling me how to drive. |
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Above...... above... above... above aboveaboveabve ab |
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[cuit au four] for submarines? |
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[wags], I parked a little one a couple of times, that didn't have 'curb feelers', but I've worked on the communications systems of the biggies. They have an active sonar feature (which is directional) that automatically pings when the last ping is received so as you approach something the pinging gets faster. This reminded me of that. I couldn't actually drive one of those, though - not in the Navy, too tall, and don't know how. |
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I take it that it will verbally chastise you if you get too close to something? "Now look at that, you almost hit the curb then you idiot". |
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If you make it musical, one would be inclined to use their car as a musical instrument by driving it around a course of obsticles just to hear the different sounds. |
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Wow [Shz], didn't expect that. |
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(Sexy voice secretary)...oooh baby, a little to the right, more, more, just a lil' more, ahhhh... |
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I *want* that in my car [bliss]. |
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me too, but it's bound to be Italian and out
of my price range. |
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//didn't expect that// Wot, you thought it was just a wise-ass comment... from me of all people? Sheesh. <snicker> |
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I miss my speedometer, the one with the sexy voice, but she was very straightforward, not so enchanting. Can we get some audio with that, [bliss]? |
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For pigeons, [jonthegeologist]. |
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Voting for this, not only because the idea deserves it, but also because of the sheer overwhelming quality of all of the annos so far. [+] |
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As for the submarine angle, I'd love a dash-mounted sonar - green display showing nearby objects as dots. |
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A sonar-themed SatNav system in your car? That sounds like a good idea. |
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I demand an illustration by bris, or at the very least a link to, whatever in hell is a cane toad. (Please, please, pretty please?) |
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Oh, blissmiss. There's a really great, funny, scary documentary you haven't seen yet, then. |
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below. below. below. below. below. below. below. below. be... |
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One of the best documentaries ever made! |
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That can't be a real movie. Can it? And for real, they look like little cute toadies, that's all. |
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Now back to this great idea, sorry jon. |
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Do the rear ones direct you, (the others just warn for collision) if you're in reverse / Vice verse for when you're in 1st? |
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"Back... back.. back. backback<BANG>{Airbags}STOP!" |
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or
"Loadsaroom...Come on! Get on with it! You could get a bus through that! Tut...Nagh, Agh! That's OK, that's what bumpers(fenders) are for" |
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Particularly annoying when someone sticks a bit of chewing-gum wrapper over one of the rear sensors, and it keeps going off when you put it in reverse. |
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O/T - I'd like a visual head-up display (on the wing-mirrors, rear-view mirror and windscreen) with the old Game "Elite" 3D display. |
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no problem [bliss], the annoations are
much more entertaining than the idea ...
yours was particularly memorable! |
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Going off to look for "Cane Toads" right now. |
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Somehow I sense this all ties together, as in Cane Toad Sandwiches and a fresh, cold glass of milk. |
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... and there you were earlier presenting these animals as bad news. |
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Perhaps that is where the whole "kiss a toad, get a prince" fable came from. (Or lick a toad, whichever the case.) |
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Ha! Just watched the fascinating "Cane Toads", it confirms all my suspicions about both toads and Aussies. I had always wondered where the stoner expression "getting caned" came from, but I think I figured it out during the interview with the confused hippie smoking a cane toad venom joint. Remember kids: just say no to toads. |
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<British TV Reference><Remembers
Grange Hill 1980s>Everytime I see the
phrase Just say no, I get the urge to sign
it</RGH1980s></BTVR> |
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