Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Fungible Fruitbat Fritters

Is this the real bat? It it just fantasy?
  (+1, -6)(+1, -6)
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A range of shallow-fried foodstuffs (that may or may not contain real bat meat or substitute bat meat), consisting of a coating of bat-ter (pitcher not included) around a slice of mystery meat*.

* The type and origin of the meat is different in each country, despite the inference it may have come from a fruitbat. Cultural sensitivities and proclivities have to be catered for, you see.

Marketing in all countries will be through a mix of media, with the campaign featuring a fruitbat hanging upside down, indicating that the product may possibly have an Australasian origin.

(Thank you [Ling] for the name. I was looking at fruitbats at Yeppoon, in Central Queensland, recently and reflecting upon how they are considered a native delicacy. I don't know I could eat a whole one but I'm comfortable with the idea of morsels battered and pan-fried.)

UnaBubba, Jan 21 2013

[link]






       [Bellauk65] should be thanked, not me; for I was simply the humble receiver of the mystic powers of 2nd sight.
Ling, Jan 21 2013
  

       From "The Stupidest Angel", by Christopher Moore.   

       Roberto T. Fruitbat   

       This picture was taken on the island of Guam, Roberto's birthplace. There are palm trees in the foreground. You can tell he's just a young fellow, because he has not yet acquired a pair of Ray-Bans, nor a master to bring him mangoes on demand. He's curled up in a Christmas wreath made from palm fronds and decorated with little papayas and red palm nuts. He is licking papaya pulp from his little doggy face. The children who found him in the wreath that Christmas morning are posed on either side of the door where the wreath hangs. They are both girls, and have the long curly brown hair of their Chamorro mother, the green eyes of their Irish-Catholic father, who is an American airman. Father is taking the picture. The girls are in bright, floral mission dresses with puffy sleeves.   

       Later, after church, they will try to coax Roberto into a box so they can later cook him and serve him with saimen noodles. Although he escapes, the incident traumatizes the young bat and he does not speak for years.
normzone, Jan 21 2013
  

       I have long understood that photograph was taken on the island of Fungibus, [normzone]. That's the first time I've heard that explanation for its existence.
UnaBubba, Jan 21 2013
  

       Sorry. Sense of humour transplants are only available tomorrow.
UnaBubba, Jan 22 2013
  

       Umm... that "machine" is merely a wastebasket.
UnaBubba, Jan 22 2013
  

       That vinegar smell is probably cerebrospinal fluid.
UnaBubba, Jan 22 2013
  

       Possibly high in CJD, if you live in an Ashkenazi enclave.
UnaBubba, Jan 22 2013
  

       I don't think these would be truly fungible. Accounting for cultural dietary sensibilities.
Kansan101, Jan 22 2013
  

       Ha -you deleted my annotation [UB], which merely pointed out that suggesting items which could be eaten is not particularly inventive. What's the point in putting up ideas here if you are going to delete people's annotations?
xenzag, Jan 22 2013
  

       The general concept here seems nearly identical to that behind white rino burgers.
21 Quest, Jan 22 2013
  

       Come back to me when you've got real fruit bats.
DIYMatt, Jan 22 2013
  

       I've got 20 million of the fuckers, living next door. Do you know how much flying fox shit comes out of 20 million of them every day?
UnaBubba, Jan 22 2013
  

       By weight or by volume?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 22 2013
  

       It's slightly heavier than water, so there's a marginal difference, [Max].
UnaBubba, Jan 22 2013
  

       When life hands you guano, make guano tea.
21 Quest, Jan 22 2013
  

       Hah! ^
UnaBubba, Jan 22 2013
  

       Fact is, [Max], that they eat between 50% and 200% of their body weight each night, with a transit time of roughly 20 minutes from mouth to anus.   

       Given that they weigh up to 1.2kg (almost 3lb) you can only begin to imagine how nasty it can be to end up on the receiving end of their... effluent.   

       That said, they are quite tasty.
UnaBubba, Jan 22 2013
  

       That would be a good idea.
UnaBubba, Jan 24 2013
  

       This is just downright weird. So weird you'll get no bun from me. There is weird, and then just damn weird. This is the later. Sorry Bubbs.
blissmiss, Jan 25 2013
  

       Well I don't get the fungible bit either unless its a symbiotic fruitbat / mushroom growing process. So like Quorn but grown on the back of a large number of decaying mammals. I hope the package will clearly display the soul-crushing aspect of not knowing what was repressed or killed in a 3rd party context during food preparation.   

       Maybe I should just take up religion and pray that god doesn't allow people to put horse and pig into my vegan/pork-free burgers.   

       I have a feeling that ... insert appropriate word here ... e.g. *anyone* ... is letting a lot of companies and government regulatory bodies get away with too much.   

       Where can I vote for "No pig or horse meat" in my burgers ? That is important to me.
bigsleep, Jan 26 2013
  

       So like a wildcard adjective ?
bigsleep, Jan 26 2013
  

       [bella], that's why it suggests they may or may not contain bat meat.
UnaBubba, Jan 27 2013
  

       Dearth of a Notion.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 29 2013
  
      
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