h a l f b a k e r y
Warm and Fussy
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Standing at the end of crowded, smoky bar, he tried desperately to get the attention of the bartender, with no luck. The bartender was very busy at the other end of the bar with thirsty patrons. Now is the time for the Gavel-Stein. It’s a wooden beer stein in the shape of a large gavel, like the ones
used by judges, auctioneers and the like. He gripped it by the large wooden handle and started pounding on the bar, once, twice, three times. Now the bartender heard his incessant pounding and quickly ran to assist this very thirsty patron. The Gavel-Stein will get you plenty of attention. In the event you just enjoy pounding it, please lower the accompanying cover to prevent from spilling your beer.
Annotation:
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Pound it enough and you may create enough froth to smear across your chin, enabling you to produce a razor and have a shave. |
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what a fine idea, [skinflaps]. A clean close shave - and the great smell of Beer! |
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Thag want beer! Thag want beer!
Good. Now Thag want crisps! Thag want crisps!
Good! Now Thag want two Steins! Thag extra Stein!
Okaaay. Now, Thag need to communicate with natives in next valley. |
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I started to wonder if they were made of plastic and then put the 'glow in the dark' beer in them, could they be used as flashlights? |
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I like this, from a customerial point of view, all the more, in fact, because it could be used to help late night pub singsongalongs be kept in time but bitter bartenderial experience tells me that anyone who bangs their pot or shouts oi! or waves money about in an effort to get served faster will find that they slip right to the back of the queue. The temptation towards misuse is great. Och, have a croissant. |
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What happens if everyone has one? |
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This wouldn't work in an Australian pub because everyone would be so drunk that when they'd hear the gavel pounding they'd think they were in a courtroom, and they'd piss all over the floor. |
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excuse me [hon] do they not have rest rooms in Australian Bars? |
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Yeah, but they just rest in 'em. |
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I would be worried about making the bartender mad. |
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