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I was expecting something more subtle. |
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Well, yeah. Of course, their accents would be completely different and... maybe a catfight or two? I know I'm probably not the one to be directing this, but I think there's a simplicity that must be preserved. |
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The <ahem> climax of Fistful of Dollars just won't be the same. |
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[jinbish] you owe me a new keyboard. |
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Presumably the Law of the Conservation of Gayness means that you'll also produce a straight version of Brokeback Mountain? |
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//Conservation of Gayness//
I believe the more lexically correct form is "Gaiety". |
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I'm not sure I'll ever recover from this...(jin, jin,
jin...) |
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have you looked? this is 2009 after all. |
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As with a lot of hinting, just watch old westerns with what we know now. Just like the idea but without the crack. Ah begorra! |
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I am joining [copro..]'s class action against [Jinbish], that *was* a good keyboard. |
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There was a great skit on SNL about this, I will see if I can link. If I can't, remember this quote: "...Well, maybe we're digging for something more precious than gold..." |
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He rode a blazing saddle... |
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//I was expecting something more subtle // |
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If someone will direct us to the exit, we will be happy to run screaming towards it....... |
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/a straight version of Brokeback Mountain?/ |
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This could actually be very funny. It would need to stick closely to the pace and tone of the original to work.You |
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Sorry in advance...well not really. |
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Lone ranger and Tonto are riding through the desert.
Ranger gets off'n his horse to take a leak and gets a rattlesnake bite on his pecker. |
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He says, "Quick Tonto! Get a doctor."
Tonto rides hell bent for election back to town and finds the doctor, but he's busy birthin babies so he tells Tonto he must make an X incision on the wound and suck all of the poison out.
Tonto near kills his horse racing back.
The Lone Ranger half dead asks, "What'd he say Tonto? What'd he say?" |
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Tonto dismounts, gets right up close and whispers,
"Him say...you gonna die Kemosabe." |
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Oops... meant to say *slaps forehead*. My bad... |
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Strictly speaking very little would have to change.
There is no reason that someone who looks and
talks like John Wayne can't be gay, for example. |
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You could even probably exchange the
backgrounds given current technology, replacing
background artists with people performing sexual
acts. However you could also replace the nearly
compulsory wacky or ornery character with a camp
one though, using the same technique. |
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The problem would be copyright, which is why the
sex film remakes of regular films are always
presented as satire. |
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//The <ahem> climax of Fistful of Dollars just won't be the same// Could there be a Fistula Full of Delores? Some westerns just crave a remake....Ramsbottom RIdes Again? (an Arthur Askey gem - see link) |
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I'm greatly relieved that nobody has taken this as an obvious
and irresistable cue to start a list of gay-themed re-titlings
for well-known Westerns. |
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Nice one, [MB]. What's next from MaxCo ? How to extract malt and hops from beer ? How to herd cats ? Or are you going to explain how to cram a mushroom cloud back into that pretty, shiny little plutonium sphere you had eighty microseconds ago ? |
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In the legend, Pandora just opened the box, and that was bad enough. There was no need to go at it with a shaped charge, it wasn't even locked .... |
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"We thought we only told you to blow the bloody lid off ?" |
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//What's next from MaxCo// |
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We are actually working on a novel and practical penis
enlargement system based on non-Newtonian fluids. You
heard it here first. |
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Does it involve pureed horny goat weed, enzyte, or viagra? |
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//'m greatly relieved that nobody has taken this as an obvious and irresistable cue to start a list of gay-themed re-titlings for well-known Westerns.// except me ! How about "Cum Fight at the OK Corral" ? just to get the ball rolling. |
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What about cowgirls? "Butch Cassidy and the Funpants Kid"? |
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I have always had a problem understanding male/male cowboy relationships. It is very seldom that anyone uses the tools of their trade for recreational purposes. Picture this: |
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"Hey Wade, wanna hook up tonight!" |
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"Nah Darrel, we got an 80 mile ride tomorrow and I left my saddle cushion at the ranch." |
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I suppose that would be "How the West was Worn-out." |
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OK, last one. "The Wood, the Bad and the Ugly". |
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And for that, [4], you deserve no mercy whatsoever. |
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I know, I know [8th...]. It is not big, and it is not clever... |
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I can't but mention one of the classics of the Western genre, "A Fistful of Dynamite", A.K.A. "Duck, You Sucker". |
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Broke Back Mounting? I have many more, but they'll keep. |
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//they'll keep// Are you sure? That last one might have gone off already. ;) |
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[zen-...] its no more *off* than "Bed Kelly". Or "All the Pretty Hoses", "Hid-dildo", "Lonesome Glove" and "Dildorado"! I am sorry, OK, no more! |
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You're not wrong - but you never made any claims of freshness! The best I had was Village (People) of The Damned, but that's not even a Western. |
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With existing titles like Rough Riders, The Virginian, The Quest, Pistols 'n' petticoats, Bronco and The Big Valley it really doesn't leave much scope for rebranding.
[edit: just to bring xenzag up to speed, broke back mountain was a gay western] |
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Hahah.. Oh, [zen], you card, you. |
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You cannot Top the ol' [Jinbish]. Don't even try. |
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//broke back mountain was a gay western// Well my version has extra gayness! In fact even the horses are gay in it. |
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Roy Rogers Trigger (except that's called Bestiality) - I'm barely started here. |
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Broke back mountain II - now with extra gayness. |
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Yeah, that does sound ok. |
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//Beam me up Scotty// That gives me another idea.... Liberace Themed remakes of Star Trek Episodes. |
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