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Geroscopes
"Sit down, Grandma. Sit Down, Grandma! SIT DOWN, GRANDMA !! oooh..." | |
When old folks fall down they often hurt themselves, badly.
To prevent this we've invented the geroscope, which is just like a gyroscope, only it prevents geriatrics from falling over, by ensuring they maintain their equilibrium, even in the most extreme circumstances. Your Granddad will be able
to Polka the night awy, well into his nineties, whirling like a dervish... with mechanical assistance.
They just make it difficult for Grandma to sit down, while she's wearing the Geroscope backpack unit.
gyroscope for skating control
gyroscope_20for_20skating_20control
similar [xaviergisz, May 19 2005]
[link]
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I gave it a bun, but it does need a little more explaining. What does the device look like, how does it work, etc.? |
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It's just a big gyroscope, stuffed into a backpack, with a power inlet that allows it to be charged while you sit watching daytime soap operas. |
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I was wondering how heavy it would need to be?
Perhaps Grandma can't fall over because she can't get up in the first place. |
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You say that like it's a bad thing. |
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Maybe an accelerometer based solution akin to the disk protection system in the iPod. Of course, it needs to be named the Geriometer or, maybe, as homage, the ipOld. |
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Geri Halliwell is getting on a bit. |
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//Your Granddad will be...whirling like a
dervish....They just make it difficult for
Grandma to sit down//
Shirley the exact opposite?
Grandma will be able to sit down, as
long as she keeps her back straight as
she does so. Conversely, if Granddad
tries whirling like a dervish, he'll find it
very difficult indeed. Gyroscopes
resist rotation of their axes,
not linear translation. |
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So, like a sort of septuagenarian
segway? |
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Yes, without the wheels. Think Mosh Buddy Grandpa Weeble. |
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