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Geroscopes

 "Sit down, Grandma. Sit Down, Grandma! SIT DOWN, GRANDMA !! oooh..."
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When old folks fall down they often hurt themselves, badly.

To prevent this we've invented the geroscope, which is just like a gyroscope, only it prevents geriatrics from falling over, by ensuring they maintain their equilibrium, even in the most extreme circumstances. Your Granddad will be able to Polka the night awy, well into his nineties, whirling like a dervish... with mechanical assistance.

They just make it difficult for Grandma to sit down, while she's wearing the Geroscope backpack unit.

—UnaBubba, May 19 2005

gyroscope for skating control gyroscope_20for_20skating_20control
similar [xaviergisz, May 19 2005]


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Annotation:







       I gave it a bun, but it does need a little more explaining. What does the device look like, how does it work, etc.?
—zeno, May 19 2005
   

       It's just a big gyroscope, stuffed into a backpack, with a power inlet that allows it to be charged while you sit watching daytime soap operas.
—UnaBubba, May 19 2005
   

       I was wondering how heavy it would need to be?
Perhaps Grandma can't fall over because she can't get up in the first place.
—Ling, May 19 2005
   

       You say that like it's a bad thing.
—UnaBubba, May 19 2005
   

       Maybe an accelerometer based solution akin to the disk protection system in the iPod. Of course, it needs to be named the Geriometer or, maybe, as homage, the ipOld.
—bristolz, May 19 2005
   

       Thanks, [bris].
—UnaBubba, May 19 2005
   

       Geriometer   

       Geri Halliwell is getting on a bit.
—DenholmRicshaw, May 20 2005
   

       //Your Granddad will be...whirling like a dervish....They just make it difficult for Grandma to sit down//

Shirley the exact opposite? Grandma will be able to sit down, as long as she keeps her back straight as she does so. Conversely, if Granddad tries whirling like a dervish, he'll find it very difficult indeed. Gyroscopes resist rotation of their axes, not linear translation.
—Basepair, May 21 2005
   

       So, like a sort of septuagenarian segway?
—Ian Tindale, May 21 2005
   

       Yes, without the wheels. Think Mosh Buddy Grandpa Weeble.
—UnaBubba, May 23 2005
   


 

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