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Some people are just plain unfortunate. They go through the early years of their lives in slightly less than perfect social conditions, finish their schooling and go on to university, graduate into their chosen profession and find out it's not that exciting after all.
Sooner or later someone will
tell them to "Get A Life".
Easy to say, but it may be difficult to achieve, if they done a science degree and have specialised in the mating habits of commercially significant fruit fly species (Don't laugh, I know someone who did just this very thing).
The "Get A Life" Policy is an insurance policy, taken out by the parents of children who might end up in such a social cul-de-sac. For a small monthly fee you can insure your child against the errors they may make. In the event of a valid claim the insurer swings into action, fast-tracking qualification in another, exciting career.
They also throw in a series of cruises and holidays (Pamplona, Afghanistan, Vanuatu) and crazy hobbies and pastimes (Choices include parasailing, base-jumping, cave diving, canyoning and cowtipping.)
Just $29.95 per month.
[link]
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I'm going to come to your house and kick you now. |
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Can you cash it in if you don't need it ? |
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Sign me up for a halfbaked cruise to Afghanistan and the halfbaked hobby of croisscountry skiing. |
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I find it hard to accept that this could be a sustainable commodity. |
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Yes the unexpected can occur in grown children after they leave the nest. But I'm referring to two basic groups here for starters. The parents who have that intrinsic drive to feed their children's minds will know that they don't need this policy. On the other hand parents locked into a stagnant level of existence, whatever level it is, probably won't make it a priority to afford the two McDonald's family meals worth per month for the policy or they will try to claim every such whining factor that comes along you'll fold in no time.
Hypothetically. |
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A question about valid claims and fast tracking...
The concept of the two together are a bit like an oxymoron aren't they?
Hypothetically. |
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Wait.
The dangerous recreational incentives...
This is really about Darwinism isn't it?
And you would even be making money off it.
What a thinkin' stinker you are. I wish I'd thunk it. |
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Millionaire playboys/ playgirls who have never done a day's work in their life get to have a go on the fruit flies and learn the value of honest toil. |
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So, the payoff is for dreariness, instead of death. The beauty of regular Life Insurance, from the viewpoint of the Insurer, is that there is so little reason to cheat. Since only the “loved ones” benefit, the policyholder is put on the defensive, eyeing his meals suspiciously, avoiding open windows. The Get-a-Life policy is a big improvement for the policyholder, but like lower back pain, more difficult to prove. It is bound to spawn a whole new legal specialty. |
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Maybe the payoff should be to the parents, who, in their quest to turn their child into the superboy (ok, superperson) that they never were, have instead created a nerd, a jibbering recluse, or an accountant. It is the parents who are disappointed. They are the ones without a wallet full of pictures of smiling spouses and drooling grandchildren. Don’t take away the accountants. They suffer, but they suffer for us. |
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Just so you all know. I took out a policy years ago, for the autoboner. |
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Company won't pay up. Apparently it would cost too much, to effect any significant change. |
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//I *am* an accountant...// And I have faux pas for brains. |
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That would be faux fur, shirley? |
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GB Shaw:
Not huffy, nor stuffy,
Nor tiny, nor tall,
But fluffy, just fluffy,
With no brains at all. |
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Attacking a person with poetry -- this violates the rules of war. |
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It seems to me that the people in need of such insurance
would be those who didn't go to college... the ones still
living in their parent's basement playing D&D and working
as a fry-guy at McDonalds at 35. So perhaps it could be
set up as retroactive insurance, where if the person took
out a policy and actually benefited from it (such as going
to college and getting a good job - and social skills) they
could then have their wages garnished for the rest of
their lives to pay it back... oh wait... that's what student
loans do. |
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Could you have total number of hours-per-day spent on the half-bakery as part of the trigger to kick the policy in? Icould just go for some BASE jumping right about now... |
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As [Aurora] almost said, it can be difficult to improve the lot of a dreary person. So, I propose that standard Life policies carry a Dreariness Clause: if the parents cannot get their 35 year old offspring out of the basement, they are entitled to kill him and still collect the death benefits. |
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[ldischler] On the surface that does sound like a good
idea... well, except for murder laws. |
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Unfortunately even though this sounds like a good idea
(the insurance) I think [hollijam] is correct in that those
who would need such an insurance would probably not
have it. Maybe if we made it mandatory at birth?? |
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Look, UB! Coming over the hill! Why, it's ... a teeming mass of American baby-boomers who are now parents! They are waving checkbooks and pens at you! Some of them are weeping with delight! For here, at last, is the way for them to continue fighting their children's battles in perpetuity ... and you have offered it to them! |
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Hell, it might just work. And it'd give us old cranks who could never afford such a policy an excuse to sit around and whine about these young people who are more fortunate than ourselves: "why, I had to change careers three times, just to live down the erroneous choices of my youth!" |
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The policy would make the concept of erroneous youthful choices a matter of no significance, right? Neat. It'll be a world full of the kinds of people I went to college with: summer homes in Lucerne, trust funds, sealed juvenile records. |
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In the future, we'll all be Kennedys ... |
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yes, do you want my check in USD or AUD? Is there a discount for 5 year pre-paid blocks? |
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// In the future, we'll all be Kennedy's. // |
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Can I redeem mine now? I decided I wanted to be an engineer at age 12, and now it's nothing like I thought it would be.... |
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In the future, we'll all be Dead Kennedy's |
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I'm glad I'm not a Kennedy. |
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hovsa, there is a link button above. please use it! |
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The health insurance and social security is obligatory here in Denmark; you get one free further education, even with students grants, and an array of social security services (loss of job, disability, sicknesses). |
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Average taxation is above 50%, marginal taxes for educated incomes are 69%, and general sales tax is 25 % ! Tax on cars and motorcycles : 180 % !!! |
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A communists heaven, pure pocketmoney economy, but very equal and democratic. Very high quality level of artisans craftmanship. Bicycles popular for all ages.
Nice drop of costs when travelling to other countries:-) |
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Ya gotta love those wacky Scandinavian economies. |
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Well, if every one had one of these, the world probably wouldn't work the way it used to, because all the people in the jobs that matter, like accountants, pharmacists, etc would all be out BASE jumping, and doing all the 'exciting' stuff like forensic science. |
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The uni my friends sister went to, the chemistry proffessor changed the name to something really exciting, it attracted everyone, and his classes were packed, while it was exactly the same thing under a new name: Chemistry. |
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(sorry for bringing this up a year after the last post) |
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