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Gopher Hunter
Interactive burrow robot brings video games to life... and death. | |
“Wanted: Video game experts. Earn money while ridding the world of vermin.”
“Burrow-bot” is a remote controlled vehicle that allows the user to pursue and dispatch gophers, ground squirrels, moles, snakes, and other burrowing critters. The control panel is modeled after a video game console.
Video comes from a camera on Burrow-bot while motion and action controls may be via keyboard, joystick, game pad, or other device familiar to the user.
The basic Burrow-bot can be used by environmentalists and other friends of rodents to explore the wonders of their underground neighbors. For the more practical or blood-thirsty, various optional “end-game” attachments are available.
Locomotion:
Burrow-bot travels using a method similar to inchworms:
a) The rear section locks its position by pressing a strut against the burrow wall.
b) The front section is pointed in the direction of travel.
c) The front section is pushed forward by a spring steel tape fed from a roll. This material is commonly used in a carpenter’s measuring tape.
d) Once the front section reaches its limit or a branch in the burrow, it locks its position.
e) The rear section retracts its strut and pulls itself forward by reeling the tape.
To return, Burrow-bot will backup by reversing the process.
Communications:
The first models would trail wires or optical fiber. In case of failure, Burrow-bot could be pulled out or located.
End-game:
What happens when you corner the sucker?
- Explosives (of course)
- Glue stick (drag him out)
- Electrocution
- Gas
- Inflate a balloon to trap him.
- Lethal injection
- Any other ideas?
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Weapon: .22 short hollow point.
Command and control: Magnetic radio.
Vision: IR-band CCD camera with illuminator. |
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//End-game: What happens when you corner the sucker? - Explosives (of course) - Glue stick (drag him out) - Electrocution - Gas - Inflate a balloon to trap him. - Lethal injection - Any other ideas? // |
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Ummm, live and let live? What did the burrowing critters ever do to you? |
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I'd rather have a gigantic mallet attached to a powerful pneumatic arm that brings Whack-A-Mole to life. Or Whack-A-Neighbor's-Child, for that matter. |
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Brettjs: Hey, guy, want to come to my house to play ? Bring your mallet. Our area has a really bad case of child infestation (but I'm working on it). I think it's the warm weather that brings them out. |
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Q: How many HalfBakers does it take to kill a rodent?
A: ? |
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I have a suspicion that HalfBakers only ever kill horses, by flogging ...... |
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Those horses were dead when we found them... We swear. |
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"Honey! Get me that bureau-bot thingamajig. I just accidentally swallowed a fly!" |
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call Bill Murray....we are almost ready for "Caddyshack 3: Halfbaked Gophers".... |
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don't talk about Bill Murray like that... |
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Gopher and ground squirrel burrows are serious hazards for my wife's horses. The plight of a rodent doesn't mean much after you call the vet to "put down" a $10,000 horse with a broken leg. |
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Oh sorry, we are talking money here - not my subject at all. I am more interested in life, animals of all kinds perhaps even the wife.... |
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I apologize for the drastic change in tone. I was being defensive about looking like a wonton killer and felt I needed to justify my suggestion that yard pests be whacked. Please note that the "end-game" was described as an OPTION. The halfbakery is only for entertainment and I'm sad that I ruined it for so many of you. I'll go away now. |
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You shouldn't go around murdering Chinese food. |
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He didn't say anything about cats... |
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Angel: I agree. Violence against Chinese food is wrong. But what is the ethical view of Chop Sueycide ? |
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How about a burrow-bot that lurks in flowerbeds and squirts Tabasco sauce into cat's @rses when they squat down for a crap ? Like a sort of ant lion, or whatever the things that dig the little conical pits are called. I might be able to find room for a small robot in between all the half eaten sparrows, headless mice, turds and pools of wee in my garden. |
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I'd imagine .22 would be a bit overkill for gophers. Carrying a suitable quantity of BB pellets would likely be the better choice, and you could likely carry a good deal more ammo. |
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Lethal injection might be a little more economical still. |
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Of course, to be "Sporting" about it, a pair of inch long blades would be the proper weaponry. |
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