Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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Grates of Hell

Your fireplace remodelled as Hell
  (+57, -3)(+57, -3)(+57, -3)
(+57, -3)
  [vote for,
against]

Convert your fireplace into a working model of hell. Here's what you get:

1 One gas powered fire that slots into your existing hearth.

2 One set of ornate iron gates, festooned with obscure diabolical calligraphy and strange symbols.

3 One set of fireproof utensils, each decorated with its own stoking demon.

4 One set of clinker built figurines to place amidst the flames and move around using the stoking utensils.

5 One set of downwardly gazing, smug figurines to line up on the mantelpiece.

6 One Devil's outfit to don on a particularly cold night.

xenzag, Oct 31 2005

Kickstarter: that fireplace thing https://www.kicksta...ategory_ending_soon
Reminded me of this idea. [jutta, Dec 01 2017]

[link]






       Can we have soul-shaped marshmallows that moan when heated?
jutta, Oct 31 2005
  

       A flame retardent snowball of somekind?
Jinbish, Oct 31 2005
  

       We need ritualistic hand bellows..Mwaaaha ha ha...
skinflaps, Oct 31 2005
  

       I'll take a fireplace mantle shaped like that wall in Devil's Advocate
theircompetitor, Oct 31 2005
  

       Everyone knows souls are shaped like pickles. Everyone that watches Spongebob Squarepants, that is.
discontinuuity, Oct 31 2005
  

       + Very good. I'll take a figurine of the composer of "The birdie dance" to go in the toastiest part of the fire.
Adze, Nov 01 2005
  

       For warmer nights, a clock that ticks off the hours by the action of a winged monkey transferring charcoal briquettes from one pan to the other of a scale.
reensure, Nov 01 2005
  

       And gargoyles.
cromagnon, Nov 01 2005
  

       + trident shaped toasting fork.   

       You could also stencil good intentions on the hearth tiles.
rubyminky, Nov 01 2005
  

       It’s easy enough to make things that scream when you throw them in, by steaming off a small amount of water through a noisemaker, before they perish.
Shz, Nov 01 2005
  

       This isn't quite a list yet, but it is one damned thing after another.   

       Xenzag, I like your number 5 paragraph.
baconbrain, Nov 02 2005
  

       At least the autoboner hasn't found this one yet. Maybe the description makes him/her homesick.
Adze, Nov 02 2005
  

       "Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate" on the mantel.
angel, Nov 02 2005
  

       A selection box of wax figures would go nicely with this. Each neatly identified on a little tablet at the base. "Lawyer" "Mother-in-Law" "Politician" "Insurance Salesman" "Telesales Operator" the list is endless. You could even have Armaggedon Parties.
Jacob Marley, Nov 02 2005
  

       This idea is the pits. +   

       I'd think figurines should be pinewood. There'd be that nice satisfying "POP!" noise every so often.
shapu, Nov 02 2005
  

       A friend's boyfriend did something like this to his house... +
Zuzu, Nov 02 2005
  

       Burnt it down for the insurance money?
DrCurry, Nov 02 2005
  

       I am trying to find an excellent idea once posted on the HB: artificial "logs" for gas fireplaces, but with themes - volcano shaped logs, hell-shaped logs etc. It seemed to me eminently bakeable. Maybe that is why someone took it down.
bungston, Nov 02 2005
  

       Yeah, that one is gone. It’s not in google’s cache either. Hopefully it’s in the oven.
Shz, Nov 02 2005
  

       baconbrain - I like your name - so your place is secure on the mantlepiece. Pa've - I'll be checking your voting record on my other ideas.... and if I was you I'd invest in an asbestos suit, just in case.
xenzag, Nov 03 2005
  

       Red smoke, with a projected light image of a devil's face.
Ling, Nov 03 2005
  

       Have canisters of some appropriate compounds of lithium, barium, potassium, rubidium, magnesium, caesium etc.   

       As you clap your hands, a puff of the compound is squirted in, resulting in a coloured fireball.   

       As an alternative to [angel] (now isn't that an appropriate name)'s 'Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate', you could have the infamous 'memento mori'.   

       It should also be able to do the screaming jelly baby experiment with no need for test tube.   

       Burnt, hell-tormented, soulless, demonic bun.
dbmag9, Dec 23 2005
  

       + this one's worth churnin'.....
xandram, May 10 2006
  

       Flames [+]
8th of 7, Dec 01 2017
  

       I see I had bunned it, but I didn't remember this idea at all. I must have been drunk. Anyway, this is beautiful and I want one.
Voice, Dec 02 2017
  
      
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