Gun ownership is a huge responsibility, so we of course place all kinds of regulations on the process, and have products to help, but there are some areas where current products and laws just don't cut it. Take concealed carrying of a firearm for example.
Sure, the law mandates particular safety
features on the gun, and has restrictions on who can legally carry a concealed weapon, but those issues just don't take care of the day to day problems of a guy packing heat. For example...
How do you keep the pockt lint, sweat, and every day grime out of your chrome .44?
Why is it so hard to clean the barrel after a long day at the shooting range?
When someone gets capped in your area, what do you say to the pigs so you can get home in time for dinner?
How do you know that your kids haven't been shooting up the neighborhood with the piece under your pillow while you were out?
Who's really going to be scared of that ugly saturday night special when you whip it out?
How do you politely ask the bad guys to hold their fire until you've removed your state-mandated trigger lock?
These are all valid concerns... more or less... with a concealed carrier. However, current solutions are bulky, stupid, or just plain impossible. But not anymore. Introducing the all new and improved Virtucom gun wrapping service.
This premium service is available through fine gun shops, gun shows, shooting ranges, some ranger stations, and as an at home service by appointment in limited areas, for those of you who want to impress your daughter's suitor.
For a reasonable fee, a trained gun wrapper will professionally clean your gun of all blood, lead, carbonation, oxidation, sweat, lint, and shooting residue before individually coating each moving part with a premium high penetration, low viscosity gun oil, and hermetically sealing it in a certified Virtucom Gun wrapper (TM).
Made of waterproof, and airtight polyurethane, the gun wrapper will resist every day wear and tear, but in the event of action, a simple flip of the weapon's mechanical parts will cause the gun wrapper to split open at the safety, trigger, action, muzzel, breach, magazine release, and/or cylinder. Each gun wrapper is designed with one of 281,474,976,510,656 stylish holographic designs, so you can impress even if you're packing a bottom line model. The interior of the wrapper also contains valuable coupons redeemable at any sporting goods store.
Gun wrappers are also virtually unique, and in good condition, they may become valuable collectors items. Thus, each gun wrapper is included in a national database for authentication purposes lest someone should try to pass off a forged gun wrapper on you as the genuine article.
Each gun wrapper comes complete with an RFID transponder to ensure you get preferential treatment at the range, as well as a packet of dessicant/taggents to keep your gun moisture free, and to provide you with premium bragging rights about your shot pattern in the event of a shooting.
Protect your gun from the elements. Protect yourself from false accusations. Protect your second ammendment right to bear arms when and however you damn well please. Have your gun professionally wrapped today.