h a l f b a k e r y
Make mine a double.
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Abandoned mines are a safety hazard, as they have a tendency to lie there like gaping holes in the ground. (Hmmm....) Sometimes they are unsafe, and they are closed off. Other times, Timmy finds a way into the shaft. So why not put them to use, selling them via an underground real estate market for evil
lairs? This anti-charitable organization renovates old shafts, outfitting them with the latest in evil equipment, and sticking in some plush carpet- then they're good to go. Why let a good open hole go to waste and get ransacked by bored vandals, when a much more purposeful set of criminals could put it to better use? Price: 1 meeelion dollars per shaft. At least they admit they're evil.
Formerly "Mine Shaft Lairs"
"II" added as the original organization is already halfbaked, yet the pun is too fun to discard...
Rejected name: "Mine Campf"
(?) Habitat for Inhumanity
Staffed by none other than Jimmy Carter. [polartomato, Jul 30 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Habitat for Inhumanity
Attila the Hunk is a longtime volunteer. [polartomato, Jul 30 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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||Methinks any potential purchasers, being evil, would simply steal them from you, making it rather hard to make a profit.
||When will mine be ready??
||Hmm.. for taliban leaders: Mine-Eleven
||A vast system of underground lairs, for Bill Gates and his overpaid executives:
||I just like the 'Make Money with your Hole' part.
||I just hope you custom fit monorails. No self-respecting lair is complete without one.