h a l f b a k e r y
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To bake, or not to bake: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and fisbones of outrag’d ‘bakers,
Or to search Google and post a link to trouble,
And by opposing end them? To fry two sheep;
Or more; and by two sheep
to say we light
The barbecue of a thousand natural shocks
That flesh is air, too, 'tis a consumption
Devoutly to be wish'd. To try! To see!
To sleep… perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of sleeps what dreams may come
Afore we have shuffled off this flaky roll,
That might chance bring applause: there's the respect
That makes for brevity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of them,
The cries of “Baked”, of proud mens' opposition,
The pangs of fishboned thoughts, the day's delay,
The insolence of trolls, as the world again turns
That patient merit of the unworthy bakes,
When he himself might his animus forsake
For an odd bodkin? Who would fishbones bear,
To jape and jest under a monitor’s weary light,
But no escape from that dreadful place of mirth,
The little discover'd ‘bakery from whose bourn
So few whom visit return, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
In hidden longing for approbation we know not oft
Yet conscience doth make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of revolution
Is sicklied o'er with a strange rectitude of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their croissants torn away,
And lose the name of action.-- Soft you now!
The fair Moderator! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins forgot.
Hamlet, Act 3 Scene 3
http://the-tech.mit...let/hamlet.3.3.html
Claudius' soliloquy can be found here. [madradish, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]
[link]
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Just for you 8/7, since you made the request. |
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Is this a fishbone I see before me? |
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Blissmiss: In fact, American English is somewhat closer in vocabulary and grammatical forms (the retention of "gotten", for instance) to the Elizabethan English of Shakespeare's day than modern "Oxford" English. So, in theory, an American should be able to get a better sense of the meaning that the Bard is trying to convey than the average Brit. In theory .... |
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Show us the list opf words you don't know and we'll be happy to provide meanings. To start you off: |
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"Animus" - a small furry pet, halfway between a Gerbil and a Squirrel. The fur is highly prized for making codpieces (q.v.) |
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"Bodkin" - A sort fo crude male corset. |
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"Orison" - an early form of spiral-backed notebook. |
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I trow this be of some merit to ye, fair maid. |
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Yeah, Chief. We can hit em with a Gross Leavening. We got enough evidence by now. We'll have that thought-pursuing scum outta here in no time. |
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Sorry [bliss]. I held as fast as I could to Elizabethan forms and cadences, for the sake of accuracy. |
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Some things I made more modern, to assist comprehension. |
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Definitions, for you (the real ones)
Orison = prayer
Bodkin = A sharp instrument. Used in this case to parody "Odd Bodkins"... a rather English exclamation, best translated as "Well, I'll be hornswoggled"
Animus = animosity
Bourn = Destination or location, in this instance
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[GW], that sorta sums up the thinking behind most of the ill-feeling since the late 1700s, I guess. |
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Bubba: that's "Odds Bodkins", actually a euphemism for God's Bodkins, the nails used to attach Jesus to the cross, obviously quite a serious medieval oath. |
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(Though I also see this defined on the Internet as the body of God, so I guess you shouldn't believe everything you read.) |
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True, though the 's has been dropped, these days. At least, by most users of the oath. |
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I think your lyric flights deserve their own website. This is thoroughly well done, as all your parodies are, I just believe it shouldn't be here. I also use fishbones as a filter. |
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No, this is almost more legit than many 'real ideas' posted here. Its original (or atleast half origninal, and its not been baked yet presumably unless Unabubba is printing into little pamphlets and selling them in indepandant record stores or somewhere)
But I see you point to, may be there could be a special section of this site (that sort of looks different) so those that purely want to get down to the nitty gritty of ideas and arguments can do without stumbling apon art. |
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UnaBubba: don't take it personally; I filter by idea, not by author. (I know I've upset po and bliss on this before, but if you don't vote honestly, there's no point in voting at all.) |
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Zircon: good point, although I've fishboned all those too (I hope). But the Halfbakery category is indeed a special section (it's excluded from many of the normal workings of the site), which I was not remembering. My point is now made in print, so I will reverse my fishbone to properly applaud this fine effort. |
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P.S. My own serious (but HB-inspired) website is getting very close to fruition (at least, I've registered the domain name). I'll keep you posted. |
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Sorry 'Bubba the remaining fishbone is mine. I like the prose but there are a few too many 'halfbakery' obsessed things getting posted these days (as bliss pointed out on NIck's Periodic Table idea) and I think we are getting a bit up our own arses these days. For the most part, but not always, I tend to ignore them but today I voted nay because I cared and thought it might make a difference. |
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No hard feelings for either of you. I am acutely aware of how much of this stuff is here. It doesn't add to the 'bakery's original purpose, but less than half of what is here does that. |
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Which is why I chose today to unleash my first HB song, obviously. |
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And which is why we, well I, voted against it. |
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Oh! that recent snow should sully not his noblest intentions. His mien is that of a feasted cat from a high perch. |
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*** we are not worthy *** |
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For the record, although the songs and poetry may not
be directly related to the stated aim of the 'bakery. I feel
that some of them are among the best stuff on the site.
This is especially true of UB's contributions. |
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Fishbone now removed. There are so many 'halfbakery' ideas floating around now that I just can't be arsed to fishbone them all. So I remove this one in the interests of fairness. |
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Don't you just hate swisscheesing? |
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I'd just assumed that it was another fair maid swooning in the presence of DrBob. |
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It's possible... I guess :) |
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I didn't know that [radish] had ever been to Lewes. And [UB] - it depends upon the cheese. |
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Dipping a Genevian in molten Emmental? |
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Sounds good if I get to lick it off. |
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Better molten Emmental than molten Simmental. |
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