h a l f b a k e r y
Not the Happy Cuddle Club.
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Simple concept: Ads for halfbakers to share or sell stuff they can't get rid of quickly, and/or no longer need.
For instance:
One dark, hulking edifice of sawn black granite, standing alone. Nothing grows around it where its shadow falls darkest. The earth appears to have been swept then littered
with a frosting of fine white pebbles, in its vicinity. A cruel, austere place, reminiscent of the Zen garden at Ryoan-Ji, it tells of foreboding and loss; An harbinger of sadness and despair. I feel revulsed by the forlorn imperiousness of this obelisk, yet strangely attracted to it. The surface of the monolith seems to swim with vague impressions of obscure words that slip away when you look directly at them.
To highest bidder, at auction, 146th July, 2004.
Not so much an invitation to list, as a concept that cannot possibly come to any good.
Gene Siskel
http://www.snopes.c.../siskel.htm#origins
For a good laugh, scroll down to the middle of the page and read the story of Charles Vance Millar. The link is titled "Unusal Requests". [UnaBubba, Nov 24 2004]
[link]
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I simply figured that halfbakers are a weird and eclectic lot... Therefore their trash is going to be weirder and more eclectic than the average; ipso facto of interest to a specialised audience. |
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It's an idea in search of a suitable explanation but of no intrinsic value, were one to even explain it properly. Pretty halfbaked, really. |
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My best effort is that it's an imaginary marketplace for the imaginary inventions of this imaginative community. |
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PS Those fishbones are normally 50c each but you can have the lot for a buck. |
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psssst.... hey bub, how much ya want for the rock? |
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More than I do for the roll. |
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Unfortunately, my bubbastic friend, my life does not imitate my art. e.g:
-Several guitars, a mandolin, a banjo, and a bodhran. Most were impulse purchases, one a gift. Not played nearly as much as they should have been and none worth the cost of shipment (except the gift.);
-One laptop. State of the art. Too lazy to use frequently and regret ever having bought the bastard.;
-One car <payments too high,> Will consider any offer;
-One pizza box w/Grease. Anchovies included - - free for you. |
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//I simply figured that halfbakers are a weird and eclectic lot... //
I resemble that remark |
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[I simply figured that halfbakers are a weird and eclectic lot] |
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I take the granite block to be a wonderful sculpture of the paperweight variety, probably unfinished. Perhaps he lost the instructions for releasing the shape within. |
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I'll give you a reasonable price for it, but there's no way in hell I'm paying shipping. |
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And I've got plenty of fishbones, but at that price it's hard to pass up. |
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Would you be interested in trading for a perpetual motion idea generator? New in the box, still under warranty. |
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For something that fits between an Impenitentiary and an Inflatable Car? Sure. |
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Ok, click on [perpetual motion idea generator], highlight, and select Download. Download times will vary by locale and bandwidth. |
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I'd be grateful if you'd store the granite block until I have a chance to come pick it up. |
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Bring a few friends. It's 30 metres a side. |
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For sale: Legal to crash into SUV's. Declared as "advocacy" on hb so I need to get rid of it. No reasonable offer refused. Call 555-PHUN |
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Wanted: 4 trillion miles of rope. Preferably located in deep space so that I don't have to drag it up there myself. |
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It's the opening chapter from the classic Chinese novel "The Dream of the Red Chamber", aka "The Story of the Stone". Is there a prize?
[World], I can let you have back some of the carbon nano-fibre you lent me for the calendar-convenient orbit. It may have bits of solar sail still attached, but it's otherwise good as new. |
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This is great! I've been wanting to put my boyfriend up for sale but you're the only lot I trust will take good care of him. 6'3", dark hair and eyes, degree in architecture, very high maintenance. Can't trust those e-bay-ers with something like that. |
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Petrol. But he needs his oil changed a lot more often than every 3,000 miles. |
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[Worldgineer], see the short description. |
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Heh. Must have missed that. Any chance you have 2x4's, bubble wrap, and duck tape? I'm working on a cheap little interstellar project. |
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One sword. Broken, on acount of being made of something resembling burnt toffee. |
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Actually I'd rather have some recipe sugestions rather than get rid of it. Someone here must have an idea of how to make bullet proof icing more resistant to brittle fracture. |
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What's going on here? Everyone has immediately picked up on the humour of this idea, but it has been universally boned. [UB] - have my croissant. |
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On second thoughts, I'll swap it for a tube of luminescent K-Y. |
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its an advertising thing! ssshhhh! secret +1 |
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3 bunches of unexploded bananas: make offer |
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In late 2003, I rode into the halfbakery on an [edit]: "elevator chute." [re-edit]: shoot, I laughed so hard I got lost and I haven't been able to find it since. Wanted: one original Elevator Chute, [circa 2003] will pay customs and shipping. |
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[edit-again] no wonder I couldn't find it, spelled it wrong! "Corporate Suit Chute" |
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[Edit]
Damnit, [dentworth], by correcting your spelling you ruined a perfectly good skeet joke. |
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[Edit] Thanks, [dentworth], joke restored, albeit with the setup and timing forever skewed. |
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"What's the most important thing in comedy?" |
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One Armenian Duduk reed. Destroyed by dog. |
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Bugger! Even I fishboned this one and now it's attracting croissants. Ah, weellll, ya can't piss all of the people off, all of the time... |
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High school Physics book, Mint condition. Will Trade for Perpetual Motion Machine. |
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UB - fishboned your own idea? I thought the 1/2B was a format for venting frustration and disappointment in scientific & commercial progress (in a small way) |
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It's whatever you want to make it. I posted the idea as a place to get rid of your ideas, good or bad, to an unsuspecting public. |
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That doesn't mean I thought it was a good idea, just that it was an idea, and quite halfbaked at that. |
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Hey UB, I wish you'd said that before- I'm over here stuck with a gross of styrofoam filter cups that have been banned by the EPA, and a horse with a botched surgery in an attempt to grow a thumb. Place my ad in bold, bordered and in size 14 font. Thanks. |
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(very afraid to ask where you mounted the thumb) |
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This thumb... is it opposable? |
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opposable? well it did get a lot of opposition. |
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I also invoked the technology of nano, which as you know is a ha'bkr'y nono |
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yes, yes, [normzy] all in the timing. |
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My thumbs are quite agreeable--most of the time. |
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Yes, he got the "thumbs down", Ebert "up". |
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//One pizza boy w/Grease. Anchovies included..// |
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[contracts] that's slavery, and just what kind of scoutmaster are you? ...oh...Pizza box, sorry. |
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