Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hansel's Loafers

"I'm on the right track and I know the way back."
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I remember the tale of Hansel and Gretel well, especially the bit about the trail of breadcrumbs they left behind.

I also suffered a shock recently, at the cost of a good pair of running shoes, $249.00.

The solution, as I see it, is simple: Hang around the bakery when it's closing and snap up a couple of loaves of stale, unsliced bread for next to nothing. Take them home and hollow them out, using a sharp knife and your hand. Leave them to dry out a little more, for a day or so.

Slip your feet into them and tie them on; Duct tape should do the trick.

Go for a run, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs. Try to run back along the path before the pigeons eat all of the crumbs.

Cheap, simple, effective recycling. Use once and discard... you'll always have birds around your home, which is great unless you're Tippi Hedren.

UnaBubba, Oct 21 2004

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       For someone who goes jogging everyday, the amount spent on buying a new loaf of bread everyday will roughly average the price of those $249.00 running shoes you saw, maybe even more.
Machiavelli, Oct 21 2004
  

       You've always been a few crumbs short of a full loaf, UB. Thanks for the laugh.
dentworth, Oct 21 2004
  

       [Machiavelli], they give the day's loaves away, at my bakery, just before closing. All you have to do is fight off the pensioners and homeless, if you want one.
UnaBubba, Oct 21 2004
  

       Exactly when *is* closing time here, anyways?
RayfordSteele, Oct 21 2004
  

       6pm, at most bakeries hereabouts. They run out of bread about then.
UnaBubba, Oct 22 2004
  

       I'm in favor of this. Just because of the absurdity of the idea.
Noexit, Oct 22 2004
  

       //6pm, at most bakeries hereabouts. They run out of bread about then.// So what do they give out?   

       When the bread ran out you could still find your way back by the trail of blood. Tarmac isn't good for your feet, really. Over short distances this is a mighty sound idea.
harderthanjesus, Oct 22 2004
  

       Toast them in the oven to hot-foot it to the store.
FarmerJohn, Oct 23 2004
  

       How about hollowed out baguette kayaks for ducklings?
spiritualized, Oct 23 2004
  

       Permitting your bread-shoes do not fall part at the end of the day, carefully remove the duct tape and make sandwiches for your most hated enemies. It will leave them asking themselves how they got athlete's foot in their mouth.
MrDaliLlama, Oct 24 2004
  

       One should also be sure to have the right fit to avoid getting "bun"-ions. Sorry, couldn't resist the pun.
Machiavelli, Oct 24 2004
  

       Keep it up and you'll give yourself punions.   

       Guys, this is getting tedious. Please donut let [jutta] catch you holding a punfest here.
UnaBubba, Oct 26 2004
  

       Tip: When tying on your jumbo croissant joggers, make sure the crescent-points point out, not in....
ConsulFlaminicus, Oct 26 2004
  

       "Nike, now with MightySoft technologe-e-e-e-y!"
UnaBubba, Oct 26 2004
  

       Jelly inserts for that extra shock absorbtion.
sartep, Oct 26 2004
  

       hamnswiss on punion rolls...ummmmm
dentworth, Oct 26 2004
  

       Can you imagine what your feet would like after running around in bread boots with jelly inserts?
spiritualized, Oct 26 2004
  

       I imagine they'd like washing.
harderthanjesus, Oct 26 2004
  

       use the garlic bread variety to discourage visitors at work.
romanmar, Oct 26 2004
  

       Now that's what I'd call toe jam.
Machiavelli, Oct 26 2004
  

       There should be a 'look' before the 'like' but I like it a lot better without the 'look' and I love with just the 'like'.
spiritualized, Oct 26 2004
  

       Soles studded with whole grains, for traction on muddy mountain trails.
UnaBubba, Oct 26 2004
  

       A pair of these would give you two shoes with four heels.......
normzone, Oct 26 2004
  
      
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