h a l f b a k e r y
"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
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I see a future of office working where clocks, as we know
them today, do not exist. Instead, there is an intercom-style
voice called a "Happy-Office Time Management Assistant" that
counts the seconds for the employees. This reduces the need
for clocks and eliminates the time spent each day by
glancing at the clock (this time might seem inconsequential,
but I'm sure it adds up over the years). The counting would, of
course, be very soft and quiet on the seconds so as not to
drive everyone mad, but at every whole minute change the
announcement would be much louder, perhaps with a feature
in each individual's cubicle announcing how much more time
they have to work that day before they can leave. You'd be in
your cubicle working away and get the announcement (in a
very calm, soothing female voice) "It is now 8:15 a.m. You have
7 hours and 45 minutes left to work." This would occur every
minute as the day goes on. It could also announce break-times
and maybe even announce when other people are going on
breaks. Maybe a loudspeaker in the middle of the floor would
announce to everyone, "Mr. Johnson has left his cubicle. . .
He is now entering the bathroom. . ." This way everyone in
the office can keep track of where everyone else is and what
they're up to. And all this without glancing at a clock or
sneaking around to see if other people are in their cubicles!
What a perfect world!
Sound-seeking swivel base
Would require slipping messages around via bats instead of noisy carrier pigeons. [reensure, Jun 15 2001]
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||*sounds of fire extinguishers being sprayed into the intercom speakers*
||"Gee, it's amazing how often something gets accidentally smashed repeatedly into the speakers..."
||I guy I worked with said once he'd never hire anyone with this particular super power. Maybe if all work areas had a motion sensing camera and more people just stayed put to watch the action on their monitors, things would be more quiet and folks wouldn't put on those odd walks.
||The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
||Ever MINUTE. AAARRRRRRGGGGGGGG.
Have you ever had one of those speaking clocks - more importantly have you ever had a friend with one who thinks its funny to keep pressing the button.
Everyone would either go beserk at them or jump out the windows.
||I'm going mad already. I don't need *any* help from things like this. "Tick...Tick...Tick...Tick...Tick..." I think I'd have a spaz attack at least thrice daily, just screaming and screaming to drown the damn thing out... Someone would kill either it or me, and I'm pretty sure that they would hate *it* more.