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Happy Hunger Implant

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So. It turns out that, here in the 21st century where we all live, people are getting fat. I mean grossly fat. Two- chairs fat. Really, just very fat. In another few decades, according to the latest predictions from the WHO, people will start sinking to the Earth's centre where they will form a dense, viscous mass; this will displace the nickel-iron core, causing the Earth's magnetic field to weaken, meaning that migratory birds will all wind up at the equator.

Fortunately for humanity and birds, MaxCo. has the solution. The MaxCo. Happy Hunger implant weighs a mere 480 grams, and can be implanted at any convenient site in the body. The implant is loaded with endorphins (those things that joggers have), and a sensor that responds to circulating levels of leptin, the hormone that reflects satiety.

As leptin levels fall, indicating hunger, the Happy Hunger implant starts to release endorphins. The hungrier you are, the happier you will feel - up to a limit pre-set by the firmware in the implant.

Gadulka! Suddenly, you will crave hunger just as you used to crave that stuffed-crust peanut-butter pizza! As you waste away, you'll be feeling so happy your toes will curl.

MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 21 2015

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       I run between 20 and 30 miles per week and have done so for 20+ years without fail, and I never recall being loaded down with dolphins. I'm sure I would have noticed them.
xenzag, Aug 21 2015
  

       Wow. So, if you're home for Christmas one year, you'll be about 1200 miles away for the next one.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 21 2015
  

       While we're measuring hormones can we make it boost exercise endorphines too? Where the hormones...
Voice, Aug 21 2015
  

       that's because the Zionist dolphins are trained to work undercover.
pashute, Aug 23 2015
  

       ...Or they could cut to the chase and make a leptin implant, or anti-leptin or whatever. You know, science stuff.
Custardguts, Aug 23 2015
  

       [+] for "two-chairs fat". Was hoping for more vivid consequences after the bird thing, like, "Without the protection of the magnetic field the Sun's heat melts the Golden Gate Bridge and earthquakes shatter numerous landmarks around the world. The Government has to build a submarine made of Unobtanium to explode the fatness in the Earth's core using fusion bombs" just like in "The Core" (terrible, terrible movie).   

       Amphetamines are cheaper, and legal for certain properly diagnosed medical conditions.
sninctown, Aug 23 2015
  

       Wouldn't that just be the mechanism behind anorexia ?
FlyingToaster, Aug 23 2015
  

       I don't know what it is but I can't read the title of this idea without hearing the theme music for Hungry Hungry Hippos in my head.   

       How very random.   

       I knew this was [Treon] as soon as I read the title.
lurch, Aug 23 2015
  
      
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