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Helium-filled Ejection Balloonachutes

Eject in safety, even at ground level.
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One of the problems with putting an ejection set in a car is that your parachute doesn't have time to deploy and save your sorry arse before the ground rises up to meet you.

No longer: Now, when you hit the EJECT button (highlighted with vivid orange stripes and a flashing red light) in your car, the seat and you are propelled upwards about 200ft (60m) before a device shaped like a parachute canopy crossed with a very large automotive airbag pops open. Compressed helium reduces gravity's sudden urge to splatter you on the surface of the planet like a large dollop of strawberry jam, while the parachute lowers you gently to Earth.

Note: A laser rangefinder system ensures you aren't pasted to the underside of a overpass bridge or carpark ceiling, in the event of deliberate or accidental deployment.

UnaBubba, Sep 02 2006

"I've been kicked in the ass harder than that..." http://www.ejection...e.com/project90.htm
Experiments in zero-zero ejection. [jutta, Sep 02 2006]

In action, here at the HB Inspector_20McHalfbakyvar
[UnaBubba, Sep 04 2006]

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       Interesting and novel. You are aware that fighter jet ejector seats are designed to work safely at ground level? Google "zero-zero ejector seat".
david_scothern, Sep 02 2006
  

       It's helium again! The magic substance whose mere trace presence disables gravity in an, oh, 8 ft radius or so.   

       Back-of-the envelope calculation: It would take a balloon about the diameter of 2-3 people laid end to end to lift a person. (About 1 cubic foot per ounce, about 1 liter per gram.) To fill it, you'd take about 10 large helium tanks.   

       If I had a choice of what to do with an airbag that size, I'd rather land on it than hang off it!
jutta, Sep 02 2006
  

       //system ensures you aren't pasted to the underside of a overpass bridge // Damn!   

       Fishbone for helium-filled. Helium might help a little bit [edit:] in a device the size of a small parachute, but compressed helium in a tank is heavy to carry and slow to deploy. Besides, you'd have to launch the heavy tanks with the seat, and one might land on your head. Use [edit:] a collection of giant air-bag cartridges to fill your drag device.   

       You wouldn't need any kind of parachute if you didn't go so high. Just pop the person a few feet clear of the car, and wrap them in a spherical airbag. Or make the car body stronger, and strap the person in better.
baconbrain, Sep 02 2006
  

       I re-opened the idea to see how it was doing and my eyes lit upon [2-3 people laid] and my heart leaped - but alas, it was not meant to be.
normzone, Sep 02 2006
  

       I was not suggesting an airbag-sized helium bag (give me some credit, for heaven's sake!) but a huge airbag, filled with helium.   

       How slow is a helium tank to deploy if you simply rupture it? I'm thinking milliseconds.
UnaBubba, Sep 02 2006
  

       I think that it would be about as fast as a grenade exploding.   

       Um, I didn't mean to imply that you were lifting with an airbag-sized balloon. I'll edit.   

       [Much later] Very sorry, I shouldn't be Halfbaking while I'm hungry. I've taken off the fishbone.   

       You could probably make a carbon-fiber helium tank that's very light weight, and lace it with Primacord. Blow the cord and the tank would go poof. The cord would add to the amount of gas generated, just like an airbag charge. Hell, make the whole tank out of something explosively flammable, and let the helium put the fire out a fraction of a second later. You'd get gas volume galore.   

       You could make an airbag-oid object that had random poofy projections to create air drag and to cushion impact even better.
baconbrain, Sep 02 2006
  

       This idea was posted as an adjunct to the Inspector McHalfbakyvar idea, seen elsewhere.
UnaBubba, Sep 04 2006
  

       Oh.
baconbrain, Sep 04 2006
  

       I suggest an airbag filled with hydrogen and a blast cap that detonates about a foot off of the groundand is located, as [jutta] suggested, under the chair.
torch0, Sep 08 2006
  


 

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