I took the list from Mrs Hera and set off for the shop, with a bundle of recycleable shopping bags and my golf umbrella. It was raining again.
As I got to the market that bloody dog, Ladon, raced out and attacked again. I dispatched the mongrel after ten minutes or so of jousting with my umbrella.
I
managed to get most of the things on the list but the apples were nowhere to be found. Mrs Hera believes they'll help her live forever. She says, "An apple a day, etc." I suspect she'll simply live forever out of spite.
Finally, I found there were still apples but they were in a box on a high shelf. I asked the shopkeeper to get some while I held his big canvas market umbrella up. As usual, he's too stingy to build a proper roof so he uses this wonky canvas thing, about 15ft across, for a roof over his stall whenever it rains... or it's sunny.
He looked like he was going to leave me holding it until I told him I had rainwater running down the neck of my jacket and asked if he could take it back while I adjusted my collar. It's the same every week. He gets someone else to hold it up for him so he can bugger off for a bit.
I took a dozen apples, leaving Charles what's-his-name holding his roof up again and carried them and all of the other stuff home in the shopping bags, juggling my umbrella in the pouring rain.
As usual I was knackered by the time I got to the top of the hill and turned into Mrs Hera's gate. *Couple of things*? The whole lot weighed just over 90 pounds and I carried it two miles in the rain.
It seems the personal shopping business I have started is going to do well. No-one wants to carry their groceries up the hill. I wish I could take the car but there's nowhere to park the damned thing.
I sometimes think it's a conspiracy between my personal trainer, wy wife, my doctor and the shopkeepers. They tell me the exercise is good for me, though.
(This idea is part of the Home, Sweat Home project)