Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hey Kids! Collect This!

Collectables for the serious collector
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(+6, -2)
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- With every copy of our magazine on Ancient China you receive a "genuine" brick from the same kilns as those used to build the Great Wall. Just 3,873,000,000 monthly episodes, with a block and instructions in each magazine!

- With every copy of our magazine on the Great Pyramid of Khufu you receive a "genuine" block from the same quarry as that used to build the Great Pyramid. Just 2,300,000 monthly episodes, with a block and instructions in each magazine!

- With every copy of our magazine on Hadrian's Wall you receive a "genuine" stone from the same windblown heath as that where the original stones were collected to build the wall. Just 40,000,000 monthly episodes, with a stone and instructions in each magazine!

Start your collections now!

UnaBubba, Jun 27 2012

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       Do they come with rice? And dead bodies?
erenjay, Jun 27 2012
  

       hmmm, do people who live in stone houses get to throw all the glass they want?   

       When I was a kid and certain events were capturing the attention of the world, I came up with a scheme to spray- paint graffiti on chunks of concrete, bust them up with a hammer, and sell them as 'genuine pieces of the Berlin Wall'. My parents put the kibosh on it, of course.   

       Years later, I learned that several European 'entrepenuers' had been arrested for doing the same thing.
Alterother, Jun 27 2012
  

       You could always sell them as 'Berlin Wall memorabilia' without exactly specifying that they were genuine.
RayfordSteele, Jun 27 2012
  

       [+]
FlyingToaster, Jun 28 2012
  

       [+] Well I like the premise of this, but I'm so sad there is no option for getting some from Pink Floyd's (The) Wall!!
xandram, Jun 28 2012
  

       This is somewhat akin to my method for smuggling myself out of afghanistan. I have been sending myself, (a couple hundred epithelial skin cells at a time), back to Mrs. MikeD in our correspondance. It's kind of like the analogue version of a teleporter.
MikeD, Jul 01 2012
  

       I'm trying to imagine how your skin cells measure up to a base block from a pyramid.
UnaBubba, Jul 01 2012
  

       This is an excellent and consistent idea: if you want to obtain the final result, you really have to build a huge collectors' dynasty that spans a good chunk of history. This means you have to make loads of kids to start with, to ensure enough of your genetic material is out there. But you also need a strict succession mechanism, that clearly traces its line back to you.   

       By the time the last generation has finally reached the objective, and your cryogenically stored body is revealed, you will be seen as the arch father, the über god, who started it all. And they will gladly build your tomb. And that of your many wives. You deserved eternal peace, and you obtained it.
django, Jul 01 2012
  


 

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