h a l f b a k e r y
Contrary to popular belief
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The Hiking Umbrella is a multipurpose device with a few very helpful features.
It comprises an inside out umbrella, worn attached to the head and shoulders with a harness. Not big enough to cause problems on narrow trails, it is about the width of a man's shoulders, though it can be extended for
downpours.
Made of flexible photovoltaic material, it can generate electricity to charge a battery pack worn on the belt. This is very useful for running lights, GPS devices, 'phones, CD players and anything else small.
Being a parabolic dish, it can be used for satellite-based communications, up and down.
When it is raining, a tube running from the centre of the dish feeds water to your canteen or other storage device.
The optional mirror surfaced model can be used to direct the sun's rays for heating and semaphoring.
Halfbakery: Photovoltaic Umbrella 2
http://www.halfbake...taic_20Umbrella_202
[jutta, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
[link]
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As I was thinking of several more advantages of this invention, I pictured how a large group of hikers would look with inverted umbrellas on their heads. So I can't resist sending a croissant. |
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That's kinda the point... Just how stupid can a group of bushwalkers really look if they wear gadgets like these? |
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Maybe we could get it to do that, using electrical discharge? |
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I wish the large umbrella I used on a trek into Denali National Park the other day had that optional mirror surface so I could have feigned a grizzly's image looking back at him if my luck ran low that day. |
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I was more satisfied for bringing my own 'Hiking Umbrella', a red and black spectator umbrella that I used for a walking stick and visibility parasol than the large can of pepper spray and the water craft fog horn that I carried since firearms are not allowed in the park. |
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Between the distracting sounds of spruce branches thumping on the fabric and my Great Dane's unnerving behavior I began mentally rehearsing Mel Gibson's scene from "Braveheart"; |
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My only chance to survive an attack would be to get the closed umbrella directly into Little Grizzly's esophagus at the moment just before he lands on me. |
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Of course I would have to first release my dog, the snare of 3" jingle bells, bear spray, and fog horn and then CLOSE the umbrella quickly enough to have time to focus on a spot in the bears mouth through his teeth and towards the back of the throat before going down.. |
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UB, would you consider adding a barbed tip to the signal focus of the Hiking Umbrella enhancing its versatility as a bruin deflector/ salmon snagging lance? |
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handguns are pretty small. |
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thumbwax If I were to use a firearm to just maim the bear even in self defense within the park's limits I promise you the Department of Fish and Game would find this out from their crystal balls and I would be in more trouble than if I shot a human. At that point I should like to roll over on my back for the bear. |
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[Forn], Last time I got into trouble hiking I could have used a mobile 'phone. I was with a woman who claimed more experience than she had. |
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Temperature dropped to about 4degC after it started raining, night fell early because we were on the eastern slope of a 2100ft escarpment. She was suffering bad blisters and was wearing my warm gear in addition to her own. |
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She never saw much more of me after that trip. I think it may have had to do with the fact that she "gave up" 15-20 times and I was forced to kick her to get her to keep moving. Yelling stopped working. She insisted I leave her and go and get help. She was too irrational for me to trust her to stay put and the multiple switchbacks on the path, combined with the main slope of 45-60 degrees was too dangerous for me to leave her alone in the dark, in my opinion. |
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Not good. She was hypothermic when we got to the Ranger's Station. The climb out is only 11km, but it took me 6 hours to drag/cajole/bully her out of danger. A call to the ranger may have simplifed things, but my mobile battery was flat. |
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Fortunately I had taken enough chocolate, salami and dried fruit to see us through the night if need be. Temperature would have been a problem, as we were soaked and ambient temperature fell to -3C that night. |
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The rest of the stuff I suggested is something of a trap for 8/7. |
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I can see the headlines: "Hiker crushed to death as Hiking Umbrella fills with ice in freak hailstorm". Croissant anyway, and I can't believe no one has highlighted its use as a mobile birdbath yet. |
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Anyone ever tried to kill a bird with ANY number of stones? It's not easy. Lost a lot of my youth trying it. Only way I can see is chisel a stone into a cylinder of dimension .303 and give it to 8th of 7. |
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//optional mirror surface so I could have feigned a grizzly's image looking back at him //
[hollajam] I know how vulnerable you can feel in bear country, armed only with spray & bells.
If a grizzly sees another staring right back, that might not bring the desired result. Unless... the Bear Version of this hiking umbrella could be raised an additional 5 or 6 feet in an emergency, so the reflected bear would be taller than its original, who might then decide that a challenge is not wise. If not, try to hook the device into a high branch, then RETRACT it fast, and rise into the tree. Then climb as high as possible, and hope that your new friend isn't completely torqued. He might just push the tree down, or use branches like a ladder. Grizzlies are no acrobats, but they can climb.
I just realized that if you want to instead feign death, the reflection will survive long after you do. |
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Amos I liked your suggestion of a retracting umbrella device for ascending into the tree canopy. Then I remembered that we have no hardwoods with massive limbs here. The spruce trees are much like pencils. |
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Grizzlies can't climb trees nor are their attacks usually lethal, just sufficiently mangling. Under certain conditions a grizzly could easily push a 70 ft (21m) spruce over because of its shallow root system. In the process, you or me clinging at the top would bounce violently back and forth like an 'Acme' cartoon product until the felling. |
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Spruce are very supple I learned from my first hand experience when skydiving. I was miss spotted my first jump and could not for the life of me manage to convince the 'chute to steer away from the spruce at the edge of the lake. I whimpered at the surreal macro zooming appearance of the tip of the spruce between the arches of my feet before contact. I was disappointed. A 21m "Brewer's Droop" |
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I now fantasize sometimes about spruce having a bit more stout tubbiness... |
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I was working in Prudhoe Bay when an incident with a polar bear mandated safety procedure changes because the bear made an industrial exterior stairwell landing made from steel grating bounce with one paw as he tested its potential support of his weight. |
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Anything that adds to the illusion of size will help convince a grizzly to shy away if used properly and luck is on your side. Grizzlies don't see very well. However, black bears can climb anything and their intent when attacking is always to kill. |
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UB, you have my honest sympathies for surviving your meek hiking partner's antics in that situation (made me want to kick her also after reading about it-no tolerance for that kind of senselessness) and also for not seeing ahead of time that she was wanting a piggy back ride from you all along... but for different reasons from beginning to end. Noble of you to kick her butt to save her life. Did she really deserve to live? In order to breed? |
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[Amos Kito] Is that your given name or your handle? |
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Amos Kito = a mosquito... |
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Yes thickgenius I saw that but you never know.. |
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Pardon me if you would thc, I read that as a lite version of in-my-face-enlightenment. But if it's meant to be that obvious does that mean I should read 'yamahito' with a spanith lifp? |
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You take that cannon, and I'll take this cannon. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to joust! |
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Thc, are we the ones getting in the cannons? |
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Cool! If we hook our jousting arms just right upon ejection without over rotating before contact... |
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[hollajam], she wasn't meek. She was a big, robust girl who just sort of unravelled as the afternoon got harder. I was afraid I was going to lose her to hypothermia in the conditions. |
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Perhaps we could develop this device a little further and use the reflector dish as a sound cannon to scare bears away. Not that Koala Bears are particularly dangerous. |
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[UnaBubba] I understand. I'm not meek either but my knees went week at the low pitched "fwapping" sound of a distant motorcycle's engine trying to turn over near the trail beginning. The acoustics in the geologic bowl I was in sounded as if it was the low pitch 'bark' of a grizzly coming from under the knoll that I was standing on. My visibility on that perfect day was crap for bear spotting. I couldn't see through the trees for the forest in my way and sometimes the umbrella... I think that's what started it all. |
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Then my dog wanted to lunge at every distant uprooted stump; a common landscape feature there. Great Danes were bread as large game 'hunting' dogs. Oops. I think I was fortunate to leave with more than three strikes. Never quite got my energy back after that mistaken cue and the state of my dog's hyper-alertness. |
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Now that would be neat. I imagine a lower pitched sound of the kind that the velociraptors in "Jurassic Park" make. Or would that be 'bruin' for dual? |
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How about a detachable shaft that operates like a bike pump to be refilled as needed and holds the pressurized air for release on demand. I don't know if that would be enough air though. Maybe a compressed air can but not with a horn alert sound. |
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I don't know much about sound acoustics but from a demonstration at the engineering open house the sound pitch I'm thinking of would likely have to come from at least a large cylinder shape 3'ft (1.5m) long with a head. |
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//Is that your given name or your handle?// |
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[hollajam], my name's entirely fictional, and an embarassingly bad pun as well. I'd change it, but the Half-Bakery's A.I. always recognizes me, and refuses. My guess is it times my hunt & peck typing style, and matches the patterns with a database of known offenders. |
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I think 8th of 7 is on holiday or something - not rising to bait here or on ibd. Either holiday, or he's on the top-secret mission to make Saddam crumble under the weight of his tool-time-tim utility belt. |
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UB, remind me not to go hiking with you. I have had friends that have been hiking with people that claimed to know what they were doing. Very dangerous and stupid thing to do really. |
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I hope 8th makes it back by Saturday. |
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[Amos] Don't change your handle. It's just right. Trust me on this won't you? |
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//does that mean I should read 'yamahito' with a spanith lifp?// |
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Amos, if you really want to change your name, send a request to Jutta. But it's a good name, why create more work for her by changing it? |
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It's a great name. Keep it the way it is. That's an order, soldier. |
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I'd bet if you fell into a crevasse in a glacier, the Hiking Umbrella would slow the descent and save your life. |
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Wow Mephista your anno is gone. I just spent the good part of the evening composing a response to safety and survival misconceptions I thought important to share. I'm deflated. I think I'll just crawl under my hiking umbrella and eat some chocolate and salami.. |
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//we were soaked and ambient temperature fell to -3C that night\\. |
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<wink> You know stripping naked is standard survival practice to get out of all wet clothing and avoid hypothermia even if shaking violently, eh? </wink> |
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