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Hirsuit Labs

Lab grown hair for styling practise.
  [vote for,

Instead of merely growing bits of skin in a laboratory for cosmetic and medical purposes, now Hirsute Labs (pty.ltd) has produced genuine, full length, transparent hair grown from real human scalp tissue.

Among a host of other benefits, this endeavour has helped to provide jobs for many native Americans, the Komanche tribe being the most eager employees to date.

Hirsuit Lab Neutrahair(tm) is genetically modified to have no pigment in it, so that it can readily accept any colour of dye.

The hair shafts are octagonal shaped, to make it extremely easy to style into curls; waves; spikes; a bushy afro; 80's crinkle-cut crimps; or, even easier, a drop dead straight sheet of pure protein fibres! ...And many more styles...just use your imagination. The sky is literally the limit with Hirsuit Labs Neutrahair(tm).

Hirsuit Labs Neutrahair(tm) is grown in our labs under top secret conditions, at 25 times the rate of ordinary human hair. That's approximately 3metres per year! So for all those scissor-happy stylists out there, this is a dream come true!

Hirsuit Labs Neutrahair(tm) can be ordered in lengths of up to three metres per scalp. That's a full scalp of Neutrahair(tm) for your styling pleasure!

Each scalp of hair comes complete with it's own two week supply of scalp retaining Nuetrigel(tm); a synthetically engineered, gel-based nutrient supply to keep your Neutrihair(tm) StylePro 2020 set up in peak condition.

Not for use as wigs. Not for children under 3 (choking hazard). T's and C's apply.

Neutrahair and Neutrigel are Registered Trade Marks of Hirsuit Labs (pty. ltd) 3 Tonsorial Avenue Flogden Northumbria England

Edie, Mar 08 2018


       Sounds like you need to hire a qualified Tetrapyloctomist …
8th of 7, Mar 08 2018

       Some pillock just wrote in to Hirsuit Labs today complaining that they were BORED with their Neutrahair(tm) StylePro2020, because they'd tried an electric shaver on it,reducing it to 3mm stubble, with which they 'can't make any new hairstyles'. For crying out loud in a bucket of perm solution! I ask you!
Edie, Mar 09 2018


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