h a l f b a k e r yIs it soup yet?
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Hogs-Bison
First, you take a whole bunch of pigs... | |
... remove a lot of pig gametes, say 800 million or so... then do the same with a herd of bison.
Using the latest in DNA extraction and implantation techniques, moosh them all together at very high speed and steep in a nutritious broth of hogwash in a petri dish.
If you've done everything right
you should find the elusive Hogs-Bison.
NYT refers to "Large Hardon Collider" by mistake
http://largehardonc...er.com/nyt_lhc.html
...reported, of course, at largehardoncollider.com [hippo, Sep 20 2008]
[link]
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[+] for ignoring the elusive and making spaghetti sauce out of the results. |
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"So, you're the farmer here Mr Hyson?"
- "That's right son - all these animals are mine"
"The, er - 'droppings' from all these animals seem to have made an awful mess"
- "That's right"
"But it's horrible, like a huge shit-filled bog"
- "Well, get yer facts right son - one bog for the cattle and one for the pigs. That's why they call me 'Bogs' Hyson" |
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That's Ronald Biggs' moll... errr, ho', son. |
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What's all this about Boatswain Higgs? |
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"Excuse me, I'm looking for a communal database of original, fictitious inventions." |
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"Sorry mate, this is punwars.com, no inventions here." |
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"But I'm sure it said 'Halfbakery' on the door..." |
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"Yeah, everyone makes that mistake at first. Come back in a month, around halloween time, there might be some ideas here by then." |
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"And don't forget to put your hag's face on..." |
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Why use a petri dish? With enough broth you could mix it all together in a small sink. One of those fashionable round jobbies with the chrome column for a tap should allow you to reach the required angular velocity. Of course with such a precisely controlled experiment you wouldn't want any stray drips of water polluting the data, so best not connect the water supply to your hoax basin. |
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"moosh them all together at very high speed and steep in a nutritious broth of hogwash in a petri dish." |
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A similar thing happens when you give a redneck the job of foreman on a merchant ship, only you come up with a hicks boatswain. |
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I just feel sorry for the twit whose spell-checker didn't catch the typo when he published his story about the "Large Hardon Collider". |
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Talk about a big hose on! |
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I'll bet that one will be in the porn world soon. Probably won't be any better than their take on Terminator. |
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Here, have a pastry. It's filled with the fruit from a tree in my backyard. Ficus carica I believe it's called. |
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Nononono, it's free. No charge. Free of any form of charge. |
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That's right. It's a fig neutron. [+] |
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Slurry with a fringe on top. |
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