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Home Hair Regrowing Kit

Be bald no longer with a simple cure!
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This idea may apply only to more desperate individuals; but at least it works.

The Home Hair Regrowing Kit comes in a box. In the box is a hammer, plaster, and surgical bandages.

1) Shave your head. If you are already bald, skip this step.

2) Pick the area on your head that suffers the most baldism, swing the hammer, and fracture the skull at that point. Be careful to not puncture the skull or compress the brain too much.

3) Apply a cast to your entire head.

4) Remove the cast after a month or two.

5) Voila! Thick, black hair where none had grown before.

6) If the new hair disappears, simply repeat.

This works, additionally, on any other part of the body where you desire to grow hair, and have a bone.

Future kits could be less painful. I'm open to suggestions. To those of you who have not broken bones, try it out. It's fascinating.

mylodon, Dec 15 2007

First Demonstration of New Hair Follicle Generation in an Animal Model http://www.uphs.upe...e-regeneration.html
[pyggy potamus, Dec 15 2007]

[link]






       is the cure in the splitting or the banging?   

       hairy bun with-held (I dropped it on the floor)
po, Dec 15 2007
  

       I don't know why hair starts growing. Maybe it's due to an increase of 'attention' due to the local area being repaired? You get more types of cells arriving there. Some of them carry whatever is needed to trigger hair growth.   

       I don't know if this is the same with women as with men. I haven't known many women with broken bones.
mylodon, Dec 15 2007
  

       "...wound healing triggers an embryonic state in the skin which makes it receptive to receiving instructions from wnt proteins....wnts are a network of proteins implicated in hair-follicle development."   

       [please see link for details]   

       [+] for correctly guessing how hair regrows in areas of trauma.
pyggy potamus, Dec 15 2007
  

       It may not be necessary to traumalize the skull. Arms and legs which are kept in plaster for bone-healing usually become hairy over the entire cast-covered area, not just the area near the fracture. My daughter broke her arm twice in succession, and had a distinctly orangutanal arm for some time thereafter. It doesn't last (fortunately).   

       Also, sp: viola.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 15 2007
  

       I'd guess a viola could be included in the kit as well. This could be played on the moment of removing the plaster cast.   

       It would be very dramatic.
mylodon, Dec 15 2007
  

       stop pansying about.
po, Dec 15 2007
  

       //I think it has to do with muscle wastage reducing the surface area of the arm / leg and not the number of follicles// Not really. Even with considerable wastage, surface area does not decrease much. There's just a lot more hair growth (coupled with, probably, lower hair turnover as you mentioned).   

       Also, it's not so much new hairs growing, as the existing hairs becoming coarser and longer. So, this may not work for people with especially high cranial albedos.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2007
  
      
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