h a l f b a k e r yThis ain't rocket surgery.
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This is a machine, not unlike any other generic machine, which you plug in and switch on, three months before storing away at the back of a cupboard somewhere never to see the light of day again.
It has a rubberised aperture into which you insert eggs. They get boiled and have their shells removed.
There's another slot into which you insert small mammals or birds. These get cooked, skinned, minced and killed (perhaps in a different order). Finally, there's a shortish wide hose that attaches to a nearby breadmaking machine. This steals bread from said other machine and creates breadcrumbs.
Simply switch on the machine, insert eggs, animals and attach stealing hose. Wait a short while, until it's finished. Then you open a door in the machine somewhere, and voilin! Scotch eggs. Like you've never tasted before. Unless you've come back for more, that is.
flickr: Scotch Eggs on a tray
http://www.flickr.c...s/roboppy/46280014/
Mmmmmmh. [jutta, Aug 24 2008]
[link]
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Ha, ha, reminds me of the Shuddering Pickled Chicken Dispenser, scotch bun! |
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what kind of animal is a scotch? |
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It's a mollusk.The egg-shaped Scotch bon-net grows 2 to 4 inches high with females usually growing larger than males. |
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Just ensure that the hose is only connected to the breadmaker and not some other quasi-useful kitchen device. I'm not sure I'd like Scotch Eggs coated in scraps from a toasted sandwich maker or a George Formby Bacon Fax Machine. |
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I suppose the females have more eggs |
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/Scotch Eggs coated in scraps from a toasted sandwich maker or a George Formby Bacon Fax Machine./ - mmmmm. I usually have to pay by the minute to hear stuff like that. |
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Would you be able to put different things in the various 'inputs' of this machine. For example, could I use this to make a Scotch Egg with a centre of baked custard, surrounded by minced apple, all coated in a mixture of flour, butter and sugar - a sort of Apple Crumble Scotch Egg? |
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You'll have to ask the Scotch about that sort of thing. I believe they have strict rules up there. |
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In much the same way that the Danish call danish pastries Dutch Bread, in Scotland Scotch Eggs are called Onglish Eggs. |
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How eggsactly does the machine remove the shell? |
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dip it in some kind of calcium dissolving acid |
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Then how would you stop the acid from destroying the egg itself or making the egg taste acidic? |
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How do you know how much alkali to add? How do you knwo how much acid has been absorbed by the egg and to what depth? And in a time where people are moaning about GM crops and cheering for organic foods, do we really want to be putting all the chemicals inside our food? |
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Oh, and the egg is already cooked, otherwise removing the shell would result in serious egg leakage. |
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It probably has a small grandmother inside to orally remove the shells. That way, there'd be no requirement to educate her in the method and process involved. |
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Mmmm! A lovely ball of breadcrumbs, surrounded by egg, the whole thing carefully coated in sausagemeat. |
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//and voilin!// - shurely it's viola? |
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I did think that the acid dip would be timed and then the egg washed in water... |
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take care that small grandma doesn't end up as part of the scotch recipe. |
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//It probably has a small grandmother inside to orally remove the shells. That way...// |
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hippo, - yes, and that way you can demonstrate it as a partly implemented teleportation device that's urgently in need of increased funding. |
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