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Homeopathy is based on two fundamental principles:
1. Like cures like.
2. Dilution increases effectiveness.
So, consider: When conflict situations arise, the "world community" (i.e. rich countries who worry that their trade might be affected) get together and send in a "peacekeeping force"
(Oxymorons already). These are usually large groups of heavily armed, well trained and equipped military folk and as such are bl00dy expensive.
However, the main symptom of "war" is soldiers. These should be treated homepathically. Instead of sending 5000 armed troops, the U.S., sorry, U.N., should send two soldiers - one officer and one NCO to carry his bag - diluted by 4998 ordinary people (tourists). Tourists are cheap, expendable, easily replaced and to a large extent self-financing.
The soldier and his oppo will wander round, talk to both sides and take notes. The tourists will wander round, take photograps, speak slowly and patronisingly to the locals, demand "proper" food like fish-and-chips and Wanteys Red barrel, start fights in all the bars, and steal the ashtrays. They will buy up all the rubbishy souvenirs in the shops and make loud, offensive comments about local customs, habits and traditions that have worked perfectly well for centuries.
Pretty soon the locals will have divided into two camps; those who hate the tourists, and just want them to leave - and those who hate the tourists, but don't want them to leave until they've spent all their money. The likelyhood of being able to sustain a civil war while at the same time trying to run three bars, a small family hotel and a car rental agency will be too much and the conflict will just sputter out.
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This from the same person who recently ranted against the "sneering, cynical...society"? |
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Also, for this peacekeeping force to mirror the principles of homeopathy as it's actually practiced, the force must be diluted to the point where there are no military personnel at all, and none of the tourists can ever have come in contact with anyone who has ever even read about a military person. I do think, though, that your proposal at least has a better chance of effectiveness than actual homeopathic "remedies." |
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Beauxeault: Sorry for the inconsitency. Some days I forget whether it's my turn to be the good twin or the evil twin. |
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Your point about the Avogadro dilution is entirely correct. The initial dosage I propsed would be strong enough to deal with minor regional problems. More severe problems i.e border disputes between states, would require a stronger and therefore more dilute dosage. You would have to select tourists who had not only never been in the armed forces, but had never been in contact with anyone who had, and had never even read a book or watched a TV programme about war, owned a gun, or walked anywhere in a brisk and purposeful manner.
In the case of a risk of world war, you would just move the entire civil population of the planet to different countries at random. |
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Tomorrow we will send over 32,000,000 'prisoners', to add to today's 16,000,000 and yesterday's 8,000,000. |
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Oooh, ouch - I think I've been there; a foreign croissant to you. |
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UnaBubba: "On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me .... " |
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... What is it with you and these fucking tourists? |
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We've now got 2,147,483,647,000,000 of them wandering around our country. We've run out of flatbread, hommous and "genuine" pieces of the pyramids. |
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Can you please sell us any reruns of "Friends" for our television stations to play so they might start going somewhere else? |
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This isn't an idea.. its a short history of northern ireland. and it does kindda work... kindda. |
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