h a l f b a k e r y
Please listen carefully, as our opinions have changed.
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Almost gone are the days of the postman
and the milkman, now that you can send
emails to each other until the cows come
However, just because you can order
online doesn't mean they can deliver
online (unless your purchase is software-
based). The delivery process to homes is
by the fact that people aren't
home when the van turns up. On the
hand, we habitually have chemicals
delivered to us by a direct distribution
framework. And not only delivered -
related products are removed from our
households by similar means, too.
It would be sensible to enwiden the pipes
that deliver to households to enable
airships to float within, just above water
level, suspending parcels for delivery
within the water.
On second thoughts, it would be more
sensible to, within these widened pipes,
feature small submarines, holding
aloft out of the water's reach.
These submarines could be programmed
to route to individual premises via the
most efficient algorithm possible (ie,
generally avoiding going via unnecessary
countries) so that as soon as you've
ordered something, within a day or so,
appear docked and harboured within a
small hatch near the outside wall of the
house, by the door.
Interstitial submarines would kill rats and
process them for fuel, as rats quite
convert into energy. In-flight refuelling
techniques from the rat conversion subs
would ensure that delivery submarines
could sustain long journeys with ease.
Not quite the exact opposite of this idea
[hippo, Apr 23 2007]
Pipe pigs could be used for this idea, or at least halfway into it before the LSD kicked in. [bungston, Apr 23 2007]
||Whimsical, wildly impractical, elegantly executed. Perfect!(+)
||[G_C] said it all ! Bun !
||//Enwidenmentation// sounds like something my brother would say...
||Please make these pipes transparent and have frequent above-ground sections.
||//Please make these pipes transparent and have frequent above-ground sections.//
||So we can document our neighbor's twice weekly order from Bubba's Porn 'n Liquor?
||If your order takes a wrong turn at Albuquerque, the next one ships free.
||I read this, nodding as the prose continued, thinking "Hmm. Where's this going?". Then the airships appeared and I knew that everything was gonna be *alright*...
||UPS had better change their corporate colours.
||I'm sure I'd be far too tempted to just sink the spam carrying submarines.
||I'm all for this, but I'll need to see some rat-to-energy conversion figures.
||The man is a lunatic.
||Whos got the figures for rat-to-energy conversion? Someone had them just now.