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Ok, you're in a hurry. maybe you're late to work, or a doctor's appointment, etc. You want to get where you're going fast. All the other cars are going SLOW. Right?
Enter the Hurry Light. It's a light, on your car, like a siren on a police car. It comes with the car, and there's one by each headlight.
When it turns on, it flashes blue and green, and people get out of your way. Like an ambulance. (Ambulances still take priority.)
The light doesn't come on anytime you want. That wouldn't be fair. Instead, your car has a USB-plug-in-type thing. (Sorry for my crystal clarity there.)
When you get your driver's licencse, you get signed up for "The Subscription". It's free. All it is is an online service. You get on the website and plug in your USB-plug-thing. You download 2 hurry light uses.
The USB-plug-thing only holds 2 codes at a time. Codes change for each person. Once you have the thing loaded, you can plug it into your car and use the light. Twice.
You can go back to the website NEXT month and get 2 more codes, which are deleted after you use them.
You will only get these codes after you have a driver's licencse for (insert number here) years, for safety.
[link]
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If you are late, why is it everyone else's problem? |
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An official weekly fishbone championship has not been formally organized, but if we did decide to do it, then my money would be on this opprobrious notion. I regret that I have only one fishbone to hurl. |
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Nothing to stop you putting police flashers on your car. Although you probably will get arrested sooner or later. |
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(Recalling some bizarre case around here, where someone liked to dress up as a policeman, and drive a car marked like a police car, and stop people for traffic violations. Quite a lot of them paid up, too, which I think was what tipped the authorities off to the whole charade, when they started getting the money.) |
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Ok fine. But it would make things easier if people would get the heck out of your way, you have to admit. And it would be MADE legal, DrCurry. I'm not going to DO it. It was just an idea. |
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I know you don't mean it for real, but for the sake of argument... |
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Even if it were legal, it requires a hell of a lot more skill and training than x years civilian driving experience, whatever the value of x, to be considered capable enough to drive a 'blue light run' (or whatever colour bulb one chooses to use instead). |
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Even then there are a worryingly high number of trained response drivers who still manage to plow their car over a local roundabout or worse. |
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That aside, drivers tend not to get out of the way for a flashing light alone, principally because very few bother to look in their rear view mirror often enough to realise it's there. Even those that do can still miss blue lights against a blue sky in daylight. |
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No, what you need is a "get outta my f**king way" siren system accompanied by a button that causes your factory standard headlights to flash rapidly. |
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The advantage of this alternative is that, unless you crash or are seen by real cops, you are unlikely to get caught using it as other motorists will think you're driving a 'plain clothes' car. |
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The disadvantage is that in reality one of the 'unless' scenarios will undoubtedly occur within a week's usage. |
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Problems, of course, possibly big ones; but the use-once (or twice) idea deserves a bit of recognition [+] |
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But for that I would have boned it for further socialization and systemic embedding of motoring through yet more lights, warnings, etc. that exist for the benefit of other road users, thereby further entrenching the normality of heavy, inexpert vehicle traffic. |
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//Everyone hates me. [:^( // |
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I'm sure there'll be someone, somewhere, who hasn't heard of you. |
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But not in the Alpha Quadrant. Best try the next galaxy along .... Andromeda's not that far. |
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Ok, [Ned_Ludd], It's not for running lights, just going past the speed limit. |
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[UnaBubba], one of the funniest things I've heard in a while. Of course I've heard it before, but it was unexpected and it was funny. |
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Instead of equipping an individual's vehicle with special lights and giving the driver carte blanche, make it so *The Subscription* acts like a sort of *Get Out Of Jail Free* card, so the user can summon an alternate means of transportation. |
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For example, you are running late, and this is the morning you are supposed to give the firm's biggest client your presentation which, if approved, could finally get you that corner office. You insert your USB flash drive and your fingers fly across the keyboard as you wolf down your morning coffee and bagel. Mere moments later a specially-marked vehicle arrives at your home. Behind the wheel is an off-duty police officer who is fully trained in high-speed driving. You hand him your USB device which he inserts into the notebook computer at his side. |
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Within seconds, your account is verified and a colourful city map appears on-screen, with the optimum route to reach your office highlighted, then the dash-mounted GPS begins to bark out turn-by-turn commands. |
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The driver engages the [boysparks] brand *get outta my way* siren and pulls away from the curb. You settle back into the fine Corinthian leather seat, mentally walking through your presentation and before you know it, you have arrived at your workplace, on time and relaxed, ready to confidently face the client. |
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Better solution. The driver has a printer
embedded in the dash, wirelessly linked
to a central police computer. If he is
*really* late and is *really* going to get
in the crap over it, he can text the
police station, who will print out a
speeding ticket via the in-car printer.
On arriving late at the destination, the
tardy motorist can at least say "sorry I'm
late - I got pulled for speeding on my
way here". The ticket, of course, still
has to be paid (no pain, no gain). |
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The printer can also deliver a fixed-
penalty notice for texting whilst driving. |
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bad idea. crackers will be in a hurry all time. |
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[Maxwell], I like that. It might not work in the car, what with the printer and all, but it would be a bit more legal. Neat. Why can't I think of simple things like that? |
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//Why can't I think of simple things like
that?// You may be hampered by
intelligence. |
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//You may be hampered by intelligence// |
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That doesn't seem to retard the usual suspects any more than expected, does it? |
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Ah, that was a spelling error - should've been 'hamstered'. It's the stage before 'ratified'. |
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"Oh how nice, your uncle has sent us
another hamster from Fortnums." |
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//Ah, that was a spelling error// I NEVER
make spelling erorrs. |
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