Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Hush Flush

Silent flush toilet
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A toilet that does not make a loud wooshing noise when flushed.
rnb, Sep 25 2000

Kohler K-3384 San Raphael Toilet http://catalog.kohl...prod_num=3384&frm=1
Kohler's quietest flushing toilet. I've used one, and it IS. There is no noise from the tank emptying into the bowl, or from the tank refilling. The active noise cancellation described on the right has yet to be developed, alas. [koz, Sep 25 2000]

Earth Closet http://www.jldr.com/ohcloset.html
For silent operation, use an Earth Closet (like the modern W.C - or Water Closet, but flushes with earth rather than water). [hippo, Sep 25 2000]

[link]






       Uhhh..."reduce the sound of elimination itself?"
thumbwax, Sep 25 2000
  

       Lining all interior surfaces of the noise-creating area with sound-stop grade insulating board would go a long way towards silencing both sources of noise wouldn't it? I'm half-baking, not having tried it.
rayfo, Sep 26 2000
  

       There was a woman I once worked with who would take her break at precisely 8:00 pm. At 8:03 whoever was in any portion of the fairly large store would hear her "efforts" begin and her grunts would continue for another 4 minutes. Everyone knew. Nobody told her. Other than that, she had no personality at all.
thumbwax, Sep 28 2000
  

       thumbwax: from your description it sounds like she was doing something quite different altogether....
will, Sep 28 2000
  

       You weren't "next" to visit the chamber. She needed a fart catheter if you ask me.
thumbwax, Sep 29 2000
  
      
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