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Hybrid Canal Barge / Tram / Airship, for Freight

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The canal network used to be used for freight, cargoing horses about the place all the time. Any time a horse was needed somewhere, it would be delivered by canal, pushed along by a barge. It took ages, usually about 58 minutes, followed by the weather, but it was worth it.

This idea is to revive the whole thing by inventing a new thing. Trams work by having rails dug into the bottom surface of the atmosphere. Airships work because they’re cheap and slow. Why not dig tram lines into the bottom of our canals? That way, a vehicle like a tram, but works like a boat, could be floated down the canals like an airship (for cheapness).

Everything would be good.

Ian Tindale, Feb 05 2018

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       If air is the new water and underwater is the new tow-path, then you've got a horse-equivalent ploughing through the water with much splashing and vaulting over lock-gates like a terrifying mecha-crab, and a violently jerking tether endangering birds, low- flying aircraft and small children with kites.   

       [+]
pertinax, Feb 05 2018
  

       I’m thinking electromagnetic railgun propulsion, of course, with a back up Trebuchet in case of power failure.
RayfordSteele, Feb 06 2018
  

       The airship part of the drive would use perfectly safe hydrogen. The horse driving part would simply use a rope to push a horse along. The tram would use electricity to perambulate along the tramlines at the bottom of the canal, and the boaty bit would provide bouyancy for making everything a lot more efficient and frictionlessy.
Ian Tindale, Feb 06 2018
  

       " the boaty bit would provide bouyancy for making everything a lot more efficient and frictionlessy "   

       Could we hold an online contest to name it ?
normzone, Feb 06 2018
  

       Yes, but as is traditional, the result will be decided before the competition ever opens, by a secret committee of Masons, Jesuits, Illuminati, Knights Templar and professional whelk-sexers, chaired by the Cigarette Smoking Man.   

       Meetings every Thursday in the Church Hall, admission free but a donation towards the tea or coffee is appreciated. Hooded cloaks should be worn at all times. Please do not park in the vicarage driveway as being attacked with a machete by a naked, screaming cleric painted with woad and with dredlocks soaked in cockerel's blood often offends. To be admitted, knock four times, and be ready to give the Secret Password* when asked.   

       *"I don't know".
8th of 7, Feb 06 2018
  
      
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