Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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IKEA shortcut maps

Find those Cluedo-style secret passageways first time round
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From my experience of IKEA shops, they are the same the world over. From Copenhagen to Singapore, you go upstairs to start with and follow an interminable trail through every bleeding department until finally you descend to the warehouse and the checkouts. Even if all you want is that stainless steel balloon whisk from kitchenware, you still have to trudge along with the rest of the world and their screaming brats who are dawdling through beds and home furnishings and who for some reason feel it necessary to stop just in front to you to admire crappy sofas.
To the regular keen-eyed customer it becomes apparent that there are unmarked doors, used by the staff, that are shortcuts from one part of the shop to another, much like the secret passages in that old board game Cluedo. So with one simple move it is possible to get from the library to the conservatory (or in this case bookcases to potted plants).
I propose a website containing printable maps of all the IKEA stores all over the world showing their secret passages. Thus a new arrival in a city who just needs to buy a set of cheap (almost-)disposable plates can simply navigate straight to the crockery section without dicking around in the rest of the shop.
Gordon Comstock, Jan 03 2002

Short Cluedo History http://www.zoicite.com/clue/facts.html
Just the facts, man. [Aristotle, Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       Overheard in a crowded store: "I'm sure more people would come if it weren't so crowded."
angel, Jan 03 2002
  

       I only go to IKEA once every two years, but navigate easily without seeing the entire plate of Meatballs. Oak, from what Point A to what Point B? No need to tell me the route I'll give you some cool shortcuts. Ever watch Dallas Raines doing weather on Channel 7? What a spazz, huh.
thumbwax, Jan 03 2002
  

       Hm, the Ikea in Heerlen, NL, actually has little signs for the shortcuts: "Doorgang naar ...".
mip, Jan 03 2002
  

       And they say it never raines in LA...
angel, Jan 03 2002
  

       As someone with inside information on IKEA, just look around for the little half-door on the first floor. If you see other shoppers and or merchandise over the door, DISREGARD ANY SIGNS ON THE DOOR and go through anyway. The setup is a trap to get you to buy more, and a very good one at that, but the swedes like their traps, even if they are fire hazards. But i tell you, i have been to IKEA several times this year and every time i have managed to make it straight to housewares.   

       The alternative is to go in the exit door and through the cash registers the wrong way. This is oftenuseful.   

       And incidentally, Cluedo is what they call Clue in britain etc. -- i never could figure out why tho.
Sand Jack, Jan 03 2002
  

       Pun on 'Ludo', an existing board game.
angel, Jan 03 2002
  

       ...which is itself the latin for I play.

I'm not sure you're right Oak about everyone using the shortcuts in IKEA. I have a horrible suspicion that for many people, traipsing around the shop is a form of entertainment in itself. There's nowt so queer as folk.
Gordon Comstock, Jan 03 2002
  

       "clue" is a generic word, "cluedo" is not, so maybe in the UK (or wherever) there are/were laws regarding what constitutes a trademarkable word. Anybody know? [granted, this is markedly off-topic, but this crew tends to adore the most insignificant little facts about how the world works (or how we've made the world to work)]
quarterbaker, Jan 03 2002
  

       Pay attention people!! Brent Park, Nth London,UK. Go up the stairs as you come in, turn left immediately at the top and you're straight through to the stairs down to the main ground floor warehouse (or the entrance to the restaurant if you prefer - those meatballs <<mmmmmm>>). Or, if you bought something upstairs (or taken the reference number of something upstairs) and you don't wanna go thru the entire grd floor, go down the stairs by the restaurant entrance and turn left (around the lift) at the bottom. Bingo, you're in the main warehouse near the exits!! Hurrah
Starmanz, Jan 03 2002
  

       Burlington, ON, Canada. Brace yourselves: You can park your car directly in front of the warehouse and enter through the warehouse entrance. Checkouts in front, restaurant (and sticky buns) on the left, socialist furniture just beyond the checkouts and in plain sight. How sensible!
davetran, Feb 02 2003
  

       Evidently IKEA stores are not the same the world over. The IKEA nearest to me, in Emeryville, California,USA which Opened in April 2000 has clearly marked shortcuts throughout the store. They also provide maps of the store.
Nzorn, Feb 02 2003
  

       So does the store in Elizabeth, NJ. However, when my wife and I drive the nearly 3 hours to go there, We are going to be darned sure we see everything in the store before we leave...
dbsousa, Feb 03 2003
  

       quarterbaker: It turns out that Cluedo was a British game that was published in America as Clue. [see link]   

       Ludo is both Latin for "I play", the name of English coastal recreational areas and the name of an old board game. Therefore Cluedo is a title that suggested board gaming around the subject of clues around the time that the game was introduced in the UK. Americans are not generally known to up on Latin so I suppose the name was simplified for that market.   

       For more information search Google for "Cluedo Clue history".
Aristotle, Feb 03 2003
  

       Hey man what are you doing in IKEA any way.
Underagepunk, May 07 2003
  

       Looking for the fucking litter tray - what did you think ? punk!
The Kat, May 07 2003
  
      
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