Such people may find some use in a pair of Impractical Dance Practice Shoes.

Impractical Dance Practice Shoes contain a program for the steps of certain popular dances.

This is how the shoes teach a bumbling fool how to dance:

First, the wearer selects a dance progam. Lets call it the four step: one step forward, one step back, one step left, one step right.

Second, the wearer steps out onto the dance floor and begins moving around a bit to indicate to the shoes he's ready to embarrass himself and others by placing his trust in a pair of shoes.

Third, the wearer declares the shoes as his shepard, he shall not walk etc.

Fourth, the shoe shoots a little white disk out of the toe. And the wearer steps forward, on top of it, whereby it is drawn back into the shoe magnetically.

This process is repeated as little white disks are shot in time out the front, back, left and right slots of the shoes while the wearer steps on them to pick them up.

It is common for a wearer to miss the odd step, so a given shoe holds many little white disks. By stepping in this manner to retrieve the white disks the wearer is granted some semblance as a dancer.