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Impulsive door

"Ding Dong?"
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Every now and again, especially on a early Sunday morning with that let-down feeling, as if after a period of excitement.(Might as well just come out and say it "hangover") The door-bell chimes it's tune, at which point I find myself peering through the blinds only to find a strange person holding a book, a survey, handheld device or some other marketing tool.I don't care to be bothered with this person.

By careful construction to the front door, I attach a strange vibrating machine with springs and hooks.

By placing two large megawatt hi-fi speakers connected to a over powerful stereo system inside the hallway, I am ready to perform.

Through the CCTV system which is directly linked to a video camera observing the footpath to my door, I can see who is ringing my bell from the comfort of my bed.

I squeeze the lever to my left and the hi-fi speakers "hoof" up and emit a dull distant audio effect to the liking of feeding time on the Plains of the Serengeti.

As I observe this person through the CCTV, I squeeze the lever some more and the primeval sounds of lion, hyena, elephant, apes and other beasts grows ever louder with their "roars" and "whoops".At this point I squeeze the lever to the right of me, this action fires up the machine.The springs and hooks start to claw, shake and shudder the door from the inside-out.

By now the hi-fi speakers are screaming in all their glory booming the sound of a frenzied rush of panic-stricken animals straight towards my front door from the hallway.The door now vibrating and shaking, as if these very animals were trying to escape my house through the door.

I observe the persons panic stricken look of bewilderment and perplexity and wonder when this character will leave.I have one last trick to end my performance.

I pull a third lever which is attached to the wall.This lever is connected to a series of ropes and pulleys which wind and twist a path to a box contained within the wall above the front door.As I pull the lever the mechanism opens the box on the exterior of the outside wall housing the door.My domesticated mongoose leaps forward to the front of his boxcage and starts to "chitter" at this person from above.

The noise and the perturbing commotion is now at full pace and that includes the stranger at my door, running down the street.

Better get up and out of bed then.

skinflaps, Nov 18 2004

Inspired by [2 fries] Ding Doh! http://www.halfbake...om/idea/Ding_20Doh!
[skinflaps, Nov 18 2004]

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       Jumanjidoor
half, Nov 18 2004
  

       I was waiting for that [half] Sorry, no magic board-game here. [oniony] "the funny man's doorbell" Is that a door-bell that the visitor brings along ?
skinflaps, Nov 18 2004
  

       you could have clawed bloody paws trying to get out of the letter box.
vocalbill, Nov 19 2004
  

       Nah, the mongoose "chittering" from above should be suffice.Although if you let him go, that may well happen,heh..
skinflaps, Nov 19 2004
  

       Ah, facing forward then. Gotcha.   


 

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