Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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In Memoriam

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here...
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Dazed, and alone but for the friendly traffic control devices tending the paths and edges, I wandered for hours with tears welling in my eyes. This was almost too much to bear. I wandered through a landscape of memories; a desolate boneyard of accounts no longer in use. Some were old incarnations, others were simply discorporated memories... Thousands of them.

I looked at another of the crescent-shaped stones:
'Uncle Nutsy. Last seen alive serving sandwiches to rescue workers at the Pentagon. Sept 12 2001'

And another:
'mighty cheese. Teaching Rugby and bass guitar to angels. July 15 2002'

And another:
'No12pass. Gone with the wind. March 3 2004'

And another:
'Dr Fowler. Loved and lost. December 29 2002'

And another:
'PeterSealy. Mysteriously disappeared'

There were three identical stones for 'blissmiss', one for 'waugsqueke' and one for 'Steve DeGroof'.

A myriad halfbakers, laid to rest in a myriad of tombs, mausolea, urns and receptacles of all sizes and shapes. Most were adorned with a strange crescent shape, some with what appeared to be an iconic representation of a fish. There even appeared to be a paupers' section, of simple plaques with a name and the inscription, "This account is no longer active"

I had found one tomb, earlier in the day, that defied proper description. It was a cube, fashioned from some sort of unbreakable glass, standing alone in a small plot of beautiful flowers and sweet grasses. Seven animatronic Jack Russell terriers ran endlessly on the lawn, which rotated around the cube on a hidden conveyor belt. I saw a thin, willowly, old woman, almost a waif, tending the flowers as I strolled towards her. No sooner had I looked away briefly than she was gone. Her bag lay on the ground, emblazoned upon it, "Susen".

The cube was filled with a viscous yellow liquid, that seemed to gel to a solid with a thumping sound every few seconds, then gradually liquefy again. Marked in flowing gold script, on the front of the cube

.runforrestrun.
February 13 03

and two and a half of the strange crescents.

Farther on, I spied a dark, hulking edifice of sawn black granite, standing alone. Nothing grew around it where its shadow fell darkest. The earth appeared to have been swept then littered with a frosting of fine white pebbles. A cruel, austere place, reminiscent of the Zen garden at Ryoan-Ji, it told of foreboding and loss; An harbinger of sadness and despair. I felt revulsed by the forlorn imperiousness of the obelisk, yet strangely attracted to it. The surface of the monolith seemed to swim with vague impressions of obscure words that slipped away when you looked directly at them. I shivered, and hurried on...

UnaBubba, Apr 20 2004


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       Great dream sequence.
UnaBubba, Apr 20 2004
  

       where did my friends go?
jonthegeologist, Apr 20 2004
  

       I would like to mention dear old Rayfo, who was not in good health and whom we have not heard from for a very long time now.   

       But you seem to mixing deleted accounts, defunct accounts, and dead Halfbakers.   

       PeterSealy: "Forgotten but not gone", surely?
DrCurry, Apr 20 2004
  

       Now I'm depressed.   

       I too miss [rayfo], a prolific baker I vowed to overtake, who had something wrong in the head.   

       [Unabubba) You lost me on the 2001-style last paragragh.
FarmerJohn, Apr 20 2004
  

       What about Ben? He was always so Frank.
Letsbuildafort, Apr 20 2004
  

       [DC]--neither do you.
yabba do yabba dabba, Apr 20 2004
  

       I was wondering about that - it says right on your user page that you're not dead yet (and I assume you've provided for someone to adjust your user page when/if you go). I have also seen a few [waugs] annos just the other day. Though [bliss] does seem to be gone (again).   

       Perhaps this is a future view, but that would preclude the possibility that [SDG] is an artificial intellegence being that can transcend death.
Worldgineer, Apr 20 2004
  

       DC: Didn't mean it to be. I thought he mentioned something about losing brain cells.
FarmerJohn, Apr 20 2004
  

       A memorial stone made up of hundreds of different types of rocks and minerals, adorned with a pair of croissant-patterned knickers.
hippo, Apr 20 2004
  

       Moved to Halfbakery: Culture. Please don't post non-obituaries in the obituary section.
jutta, Apr 20 2004
  

       FJ: only in the general sense that we all lose brain cells as we grow older, I hope/believe.
DrCurry, Apr 20 2004
  

       to all those that have gone before....
Native Dancer, Apr 20 2004
  

       But in the sunniest corner stood a larger than life image of a mother leading her teenage son by the hand. And trotting faithfully behind them, wearing a collar and tag, was an elderly hamster.
DrBob, Apr 21 2004
  

       [I still think this should be titled "In Memorandum"]
DrCurry, Apr 21 2004
  

       I think that's rather poor Latin, [DrCurry]..
UnaBubba, Apr 21 2004
  

       ...but in keeping.
po, Apr 22 2004
  

       Bye UB
stupop, Apr 22 2004
  

       Truly a dusty road with rolling tumblebuns.
skinflaps, Apr 22 2004
  

       I feel empty. This is not right.
UnaBubba, Apr 23 2004
  

       I feel hollow.
winsome, Apr 23 2004
  

       can't believe that [unabubba], [blissmiss] and [waugs] have left us. I'm with [zanzibar], this is not right. I wonder why they left us?
jonthegeologist, Apr 23 2004
  

       Ask the Magic 8 Ball, and all will become clear. (waugsqueke's account is still active, btw.)
winsome, Apr 23 2004
  

       So is [Steve DeGroof]. I think this is about inactive accounts, or accounts that have been killed off, whether thay have reincarnated, or not.
UnaBubba, Apr 23 2004
  

       <tosses black rose on casket>
k_sra, Apr 23 2004
  

       [Dances on graves.]
DrCurry, Apr 23 2004
  

       [_crazy] says, "happy trails"...or maybe it's "crappy snails", it's tough to tell what he's saying most of the time.   

       [half] says, "Aloha".
half, Apr 23 2004
  

       back, half? great!
po, Apr 23 2004
  

       I think so. Thanks.   

       I came in for the funeral, maybe I'll stay a couple of days.
half, Apr 23 2004
  

       always did think your back-half more apt than your front half!
po, Apr 23 2004
  

       I'm dead. The food sucks but the weather's ok.
pottedstu, Apr 23 2004
  

       As is my custom on such occasions, the drinks are on me. But you'll have to come to San Diego to drink them.
normzone, Apr 23 2004
  

       Welcome back [pottedstu]. I half died a year or two ago aswell. These days I'm here for haunting duty only.   

       ps I think the references to waugs, bliss & SDG are because they deleted their accounts and came back to life under the same name.   

       I have often wondered how the more prolific 1/2bakers manage to find time to do anything else such is the magnitude of their contribution here. [UnaBubba] was probably the worst for this. Good on him for getting out. <waits for unusuallly savvy "newbie" to sweep in with eerily recognisable attitude>
stupop, Apr 24 2004
  

       Head for the light, you guys. No, wait, don't head for the light. Let's send someone in first....volunteers?
lintkeeper2, Apr 24 2004
  

       Some of us don't believe he's gone at all, despite the effort he's taking to cover his tracks.
DrCurry, Apr 24 2004
  

       What's the ratio of gun nuts to peanuts in a typical Planters jar, do you think?
theircompetitor, Apr 24 2004
  

       "Some of us don't believe he's gone at all..."
People do that sort of thing here?
half, Apr 24 2004
  

       Never.
Native Dancer, Apr 24 2004
  

       They say that dead men tell no tales!
Except of plasma, porn and snails
And glowing stuff, and things on rails;
Except of chessmen, drums and dials
And AOL CDs in piles;

Except of winding clocks that wake
The people up for half a bake;

Except of gravity, and thongs,
And traffic, etch-a-sketch, and bongs.

But dead men tell no tales, they say!
Except of LEDs so bright
They capture jellyfish at night:

Old tales of nicotine, and hats,
Of TV, custard, time, and cats.
[--Haniel Half-Long]

Amos Kito, Apr 24 2004
  

       They say that dead men tell no tales!
Except of plasma, porn and snails
And glowing stuff, and things on rails;
Except of chessmen, drums and dials
And AOL CDs in piles;

Except of winding clocks that wake
The people up for half a bake;

Except of gravity, and thongs,
And traffic, etch-a-sketch, and bongs.

But dead men tell no tales, they say!
Except of LEDs so bright
They capture jellyfish at night:

Old tales of nicotine, and hats,
Of TV, custard, time, and cats.
[--Haniel Half-Long]
Amos Kito, Apr 24 2004
  


 

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