h a l f b a k e r yI heartily endorse this product and/or service.
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High velocity weapons tend to make nasty holes in things... people, fuel tanks, vehicles (just ask Unca Rummy Bear), etc.
The Battle Tampon (Inflatable Battle Dressing) is a one-size-fits-all device: absorbent, inflatable, disinfectant, bulletproof (aramid fibres) and impregnated with clotting agents
such as adrenaline and a decent dose of both novocaine and pethidine.
An embedded, or even a through&through, wound can be treated immediately. Just insert the plunger, withdraw and pull the string to inflate. The absorbent coating clears up most of the liquid contamination while the other agents go to work on clotting and infection. 24 hours grace, to get to a hospital, if you're lucky.
Also useful if you get a round through the fuel tank of your "Up-armored" Hummer.
Lesser tampons also save lives
http://sayanythingb...-saves-life-in-iraq
I could say "Baked by one platoon in Iraq" but to me, the story makes the invention better. [robinism, Jan 21 2005]
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Annotation:
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Well, [Bubba], this isn't as bad as I thought it would be. It actually makes sense in the real world (by the way, is Roland off sick?). I should definitely stock my Hummer with crates of these. Or, I would if I had a Hummer. |
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By the way, I've seen people with tampons in their nostrils to stop nosebleeds. Looks fackin' hilarious. |
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Roland is always sick, in case you hadn't noticed. |
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Actually, Roland was a spotty little nerk with whom I went to school. I never liked him, so I have created a character who epitomises what I think of Roland. |
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I wonder if jutta, or the archives, remember a tampon idea ever created by a female baker. |
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I'm sorry, they are as boring to me as a urinal idea, paper towels, plastic bags, and the two pounds you put on before a period. |
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I realize some are echos, but they are about as comical as using condoms for dirty bombs. |
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// using condoms for dirty bombs// |
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[bliss], don't give [Bubba] any more ideas! |
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He needs no help from me, nor has he ever. And I can rest assured he acually knows what they are for, where they go, and how silly adolescents can be. |
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I used the name tampons solely because it cuts 500 words out of the description, otherwise. |
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Even a garden-variety tampon can be a life-saving emergency wound dressing. (see link) |
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<robinism>- You have a plant that grows them? And in your very own garden!!??? |
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Whoa bliss that was a bit of an over reaction. Yes there's been a spate of tampon related ideas on here of late but surely you can spot the wheat from the chaff. This actually is an idea, not just school boy humour. |
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Any reason why you're so moody at the moment bliss? |
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[runs away before the female half of HB collectively try to kick his ass] |
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"bulletproof" ... 100 proof, maybe. |
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I'd kick your ass, [ether], but I'm too lazy. |
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*wonders who the first HBer to put up a sign reading "will kick asses for kisses"* |
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slapping him sideways is the more usual penalty. |
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how does pulling the string inflate this thing anyway? |
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It releases the valve on a small canister of NO2 - the halfbaker's gas of choice. |
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Must be why we're such a happy bunch. ;) |
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wag, surely you must mean helium |
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N2O I think is laughing gas. |
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To answer your cranky question, etherbutt, it might lie somewhere in the 2 pound point, in my post. |
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And since Bubba has cleared up the point about the saving 500 words, than I say, Yipeeee! |
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it all makes sense except for the "bulletproof" claim. |
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Just add some kevlar. That always makes inventions bulletproof. |
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You got it [po]! Laughing gas, also used by lunatics to make cars go stupidly fast - surely the gas of the 'bakery? |
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There was a scientific society about a hundred years ago called the Askeian Society that had a similar standing to the Royal Society. Members used to use laughing gas all evening during presentations about new discoveries. They no longer have the standing of the Royal Society though. |
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Well, if all people do is laugh at your ideas... |
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Don't know how I mised painkillers. Fixed. As for bulletproof; that's handy for the fuel tank bit. |
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wag, just between mates - N20 is quite dif. from NO2 |
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bz, I would really value an email from your good self...just a a "hi!" |
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obviously need some N20 - :( |
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Sorry [po], thought you'd made a typo. Sorry about the :-( , don't let it last. |
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