h a l f b a k e r yClearly this is a metaphor for something.
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Birds can damage a jet engine, which i imagine is due to chunks of flesh and bone impacting with the speedily rotating blades of the turbine. I guess a smattering of frikkassée will not disturb the workings of the machine.
I therefore propose high explosive to be placed on a stilt sitting on the axis,
pointing forward. The rim of the turbine has sensors in it that will detect anything massive coming towards it. As the bird passes the explosive, it is blown to innoffending pieces (Most of which might even be dispersed so far they won't reach the intake anymore)
Having the stilt break off and be sucked into the engine would make quite a magnificient end, too.
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This is a job for lasers. |
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Lasers were my first choice too, but to really pack a punch, lasers have to be mounted on sharks. Those, on the other hand, are not easily mounted on jet engines. |
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This would inevitably lead to complaints from the bird kindness union, and the substitution of diversion and containment systems. |
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High speed reactive waldos would grab and feed interlopers to cages mounted on the wings. |
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Of course, to offset the increased fuel costs the airlines would divert these inside, and for an extra fee pluck, cook, and serve. |
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Hell, it's an idea all in itself. |
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sharks, sharks with frikkin lasers. One MILLION DOLLARS. |
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On the other hand why not have the hyperactive kids play a digitized version of Centipede and actually gun down the fowl at a distance. Planetigoose. |
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[WcW] This would lead to airlines trying to maximise on hyperactive kids, so i can't support that. |
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