Intergluteal Blues Harp

With my eyes closed, partly to heighten my sense of hearing and partly to keep the acrid smoke in the room from stinging them, I listened in rapturous wonderment to the haunting strains of "Two Mouths Murphy" telling his heartfelt story of love and loss.

The music was truly sublime, as one hand held the microphone and the other sawed and fluttered behind him, controlling the warbling, enchanting music of the rather obscure "Cornhole Aerophone", as these old-style brownsmen sometimes called it.

It was at that time that I decided to devote myelf to the perfection of this artform, despite the many hours of daily training and monotonous diet of whole grains and boiled pulses and beans that it would entail.