Ironic noodles

Noodles are of course very cheap and commonly eaten by the poor. They are also somewhat like magnetic tape. Sell cheap flexible noodles, possibly pasta but in any case flexible in cassettes which can be boiled and eaten, thereby allowing cassette manufacturers to diversify into food now that their previous market has died. Video or audio is fine. Each packet of noodles comes with a voucher. Once one has collected roughly the same number of vouchers as there are days in the mean life expectancy, one can send them in and the manufacturer will send back a playback device consisting of a battery-powered cassette drive with two slots, one for VHS format cassettes, the other for compact audio cassettes, along with an instruction sheet telling the recipient to insert a noodle cassette into one of the slots. This then plays back automatically.

It turns out that all noodles of this kind contain an audio recording in the form of magnetised iron oxide particles, telling the listener to ring a free telephone number and give their name and address along with a serial number recorded on the noodle. When this is done, the manufacturer will send the purchaser a prodigious sum of money which is sufficient for them to live in comfort for their entire life.

Every noodle cassette contains this message.