Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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Ironing Maiden

What do you get if you cross a trouser press with an 18th century torture device?
  (+9, -1)(+9, -1)
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I despise ironing. For one, I don't trust fabrics, I don't trust the way they move - all shifty and devious. Pulled taut over an ironing board, one tug here to straighten a wrinkle pulls the cloth out of alignment elsewhere. Constant too-ing and fro-ing commences until the whole frustrating debacle ends with you throwing the shirt in the bin and wearing a polo neck.

Out of this winter comes a warhorse of steel, the Ironing Maiden - a device to purge this peril from our day. Charlotte's innards (for that is what I have named her) at first glance resemble Radiator Man, but it has some very remarkable differences. Like Radiator Man, the owner of the device dresses the metal skeleton with their chosen clothes for the following morning. However, once dressed, the skeleton expands to fill the clothes. You see, rather than water-filled tubes, the bones are made of tightly coiled sheets of metal that when released uncoil to fill the trouser legs and sleeves. An elaborately woven mesh, perhaps a bit like a Hobermann sphere, expands to fill the chest.

When at full expansion, and the clothes are pulled taut, a network of metal struts inside the coils extends to hold it firmly in position. Finally, the Charlotte cabinet is closed. Inside and unseen, heated metal plates press down against the clothes, ironing out wrinkles by pushing across the fabric twixt the skeleton and the irons.

Come morning, Charlotte pre-heats the clothes before you wake, leaving them toasty warm and pre-pressed. Off you go, walking through the city, looking oh so pretty.

In hotel rooms, Charlotte will charge you a fiver to operate.

theleopard, Jan 15 2009

Radiator Man Radiator_20Man
Not initially inspired by, but one of my all-time favourites nonetheless. [theleopard, Jan 15 2009]

Iron Maiden http://en.wikipedia...en_(torture_device)
Large person-shaped cabinet full of spikes for torture. [theleopard, Jan 15 2009]

Illustration http://i37.tinypic.com/zxv6li.jpg
[theleopard, Jan 15 2009, last modified Oct 02 2009]

Inflatable system http://www.kaboodle...hirt-ironer-tj10000
[theleopard, Jan 15 2009]

[link]






       While I like this idea, it has actually been baked. Ill see if I can find a link
miasere, Jan 15 2009
  

       You've got to be kidding me...
theleopard, Jan 15 2009
  

       Are they person-shaped? Or do you still have to maneuver the fabric this way and that over the flat press?   

       Intrigued, I found an inflatable steam ironer [linky], but apparently it just isn't as good as proper ironing.
theleopard, Jan 15 2009
  

       Had to be Charlotte, didn't it?   

       I like it. I predict that it will reduce The Number Of The Creased, ushering in a Brave New World with domestic X Factor.   

       Will there be companion devices for similar chores?
Infinite Cleans. {Top-loading washing machine with a drum in a figure of 8 configuration instead of a cyclinder}
No Prayer For The Drying. {Tumble dryer with a model of a drowning man inside}
Jinbish, Jan 15 2009
  

       ...or you could just employ the Valet Service Of The Shadow Of Death.
hippo, Jan 15 2009
  

       whilst I also hate ironing, I love this idea! +
xandram, Jan 15 2009
  

       ...and you can hang your freshly ironed stuff on the Clothes Horse of the Apocalypse
hippo, Jan 15 2009
  

       //Charlotte will charge you a fiver to operate//   

       You can tell her that you know me.
You might even get it free...
Jinbish, Jan 15 2009
  

       Charlotte sends her regards [jinbish].   

       I like the idea of Ironing Maiden and Radiator Man joining forces in their struggle against the tyranny of cold and creased clothing.   

       They need a nemesis really...
theleopard, Jan 16 2009
  
      
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