Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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It ain't what ya do...*

... It's the way that ya do it...
 
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Anyone had calls from people in foreign countries who want to either a) scam you, b) make an account for you, despite the fact that you're never going there, or c) give you a holiday, so long as you call an expensive premium telephone line?

If you know what the business is called, you look it up in this updated dictionary-encyclopedia thing, and it will give you ways of getting rid of them, that could be plausible, and they'd leave you alone, preferably for a long time.

eg, A friend of mine keeps on getting these calls from some dance group, who ask you where some dance was invented, and either way you answer, they say 'you've won a prize! So long as you buy this, this and those dance classes, you'll get the rest free!', and if you look it up in the little reference book, and it will say something like 'this group is a scam, tell them to go away, threaten them with legal action, or, as one of our subscribers put it, tell them that you have no legs, and how could they be so cruel as to give dance lessons to people with no legs?

Of course, you could think these ideas yourself, but sometimes, it's fun to have a reminder that there are squillions of phoney businesses out there, and you can get rid of them all...

Permanently.

... And that's what gets results!!...

(*Footnote: Thanks to DrBob for the link, otherwise I'd probably get sued**)

(**Footnote: I wonder how they'd squeeze tonnes of cash out of me?)

froglet, Mar 22 2005

Jimmie Lunceford http://www.swingmus...mmie_Lunceford.html
Writing credits include 'It Ain't What You Do..." and, more importantly, 'Merry-Go-Round Broke Down'. [DrBob, Mar 22 2005]

Do Not Call list https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx
The United States' answer to telephone tomfoolery. I love that word. In fact, I'm gonna say it again: tomfoolery. [AfroAssault, Mar 27 2005]

[link]






       call blocking?
ato_de, Mar 22 2005
  

       I used to get repeated calls from a firm offering conservatories, and I got so fed up with them, I agreed to let a salesman come around. The look on his face when he found us in a second floor flat is one that I shall treasure for always.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Mar 22 2005
  

       Ha!
skinflaps, Mar 22 2005
  

       I keep getting calls from weird cults who want me to join, so long as I pay them money, so I always threaten them with calling the police because they're trying to 'groom' me, seeing as that I'm underage.   

       That always seems to get them off quickly.   

       I kinda feel sorry for them...
froglet, Mar 22 2005
  

       I doubt that you'd get sued, froglet. But it's always polite, not to mention interesting, to find out the source of a quotation. I'd never heard of Jimmie Lunceford until yesterday but I'd certainly heard of 'It Ain't What You Do" and 'Merry-Go-Round Broke Down' (it's the theme music to the Merry Melodies and Looney Tunes cartoons for those who don't know).
DrBob, Mar 23 2005
  

       I didn't know that [DrBob]. They might sue me, ya never know, like that 13 year old who was forced to squeeze out 3000 bucks because she illegally download music, despite the fact that she was only a kid.
froglet, Mar 23 2005
  

       I'm going to guess that, due to your spelling of "tonnes," ("tons" stateside) you're either British, Aussie, or Kiwi. In the States we have a national "do not call" list that (supposedly) halts telemarketer calls, although there are still ways around it. Perhaps your country could use this?
AfroAssault, Mar 27 2005
  

       The UK has a similar system called (for some bizarre reason) the Telephone Preference Service. I've never had enough spam calls to really propel me to subscribe, so I have no idea how effective it is. Still, a website that gave suggestions as to how to mess with their corporate minds might be good. Incidentally, if you keep these people on the phone for longer, does it cost the company any more money?   

       lol at [absinthe]'s anno. That's a beautiful story, I shall treasure it.
moomintroll, Mar 27 2005
  
      
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